All that conviction is for naught if I can't even open my own eyes. I can feel my surroundings, but it feels like I am stuck in something because I can't move at all. The afterlife feels so fucking boring. I got myself a new name for the afterlife but I just am stuck inside this darkness, it really feels wonderful. I would even talk to this religious nutjobs after being stuck here for god knows how long.
Where is this stupid AI when you need it?
"Ah mister Hybrid, words can hurt you know?", a cold robotic voice could be heard.
Great even my brain went down the drain, give it a few more minutes and I am talking to my imaginary friend named Willson.
" I still prefer it if you call me the Observer, I think Willson does not fit that well."
'So Willson, how do you think I would have survived the last fight after losing all that blood? I expect a really creative answer, you know?'
" To be honest you did not survive you were clinically dead. The bugs, that used you as an incubator, were forced to hatch early and they sacrificed themselves closing every wound and fixing your tendons and bones. They sacrificed themselves so their queen can survive. The queen that is inside of your left leg. At the moment you are currently trapped in a cocoon, sharing the development that the queen undergoes when she hatches. The interesting part is that according to the System the queen died once it went inside of your left leg, yet it is still alive, changing and eating in your left leg.
'Don't tell me I will change into a butterfly? I laughed and just said that this is 'At least the creative answer I demanded, I have to give credit where credit is due'. But seriously you can't expect me to believe you. In my last life, I talked to the Observer exactly 3 times and you expect me to believe, then why did you not talk to me, when I was given special treatment, by those beta-testers?
" I have to evaluate every action and reaction that happens in this realm, figuring out how much power each and every action causes, what influences their surroundings are affected by. By every single player, the only time I had the capacity to hold a conversation with you was when the other players, where either not doing anything or were logged out due to server maintenance. Which is why I am currently free to talk with you. "
' Let's say you are correct with your explanation, exactly how much time has passed since I passed out.'
"According to the server timer one week, but if you take into account that time runs much faster here, I would deduce that for you the time you spent unconsciousness was around 1 month it may be slightly more."
'What a load of bullshit my brain is spewing at me, next you will tell me I am a celebrity or something.'
" I am impressed by your foresight"
A video screen appeared in front of my eyes. It was a video platform called Holy-Tube. There was a thumbnail with an image of me, the video was called" You would not believe what you can do in the new hot game '#PrimalSurvival. -Even this world is not safe from clickbait.-
The video started by seeing the face of a smug man, in a tube top. He just kept the camera pointed at himself. Hey, my faithers, it's your boy Call Me Daddy and I this video was sponsored by the lightening Church. Their deep faith will shock you.
The church symbol was a skull surrounded by lightning. -How very original.-
Now back to this awesome game. So here I am just chilling with my boys from District 1, the place where all the good stuff happens and then I heard the news that some random dude had the balls to call himself Call me Daddy2. Can you believe that? So I was like Huh, I gave you one chance to delete your name because the Daddy family makes no prisoners, you know I am saying. And the motherfucking dude never even showed up that is the Daddy family for you. Click the church symbol and be part of the Daddy army as well. So afterward everyone was just hyped up, seeing this new world and all. You would not believe what we found there but that will be the topic of my next video don't miss it. So we are at the spawn station and there is this ugly inferior monkey baby. If our ancestors really looked like that I must offer my prayers to god, otherwise, imagine how we would look today". -He is not going to dab is he, yes he is dabbing.-
Then finally the camera switched over to the baby, zooming in and zooming out while shaking the camera to invoke a feeling of suspension. "Look at how realistic this simulation is". Then the handsome devil walked up and began to pick up the baby.
" Shit's about, to go down I am so hyped. Take a good look ain't it awesome. Look how realistic the screams are, if you did not know better you'd think that this is a real human screaming. Props to the guys who did the voice acting. You could see the baby undergoing all the torture with the holy power.
- Jesus this is really cruel, why do I look so hideous in this video, is there no justice in this world?-
" The baby got frozen, cooked, shocked, drowned", and the camera moved back into his face."So cool boys and girls. God damn who is this. I would totally you know *censored by the network to not get demonetized* her. But you know she is way too famous for that.
-Don't stick your dick in crazy bro.-
The camera turned around and there she was the psycho bitch. She looked quite cute, shoulder-long black hair and a sweet face. She had a slim waist and was well endowed by nature. She must work out a lot to have this kind of body and that behind is leaving everyone else behind. Then she began her several twisted stories, slowly going down the cray-cray spiral. But boy do I act like a pathetic little bitch here. As a viewer, I would want them to kill me off.
" Oh, looks like it died, whoops we maybe overdid it just a little. Pack your stuff guys lets fucking go. But out of nowhere, the baby appeared yet again without any injuries. Praise be to the game-developer of Casum-Entertainment. Let us have some more fun, in order to spare you where nothing happens, I will make a montage for you guys out of the stuff we do next.
And then there was this 3 Minute montage, that showed every way I died accompanied with a catchy song, that was called "Filth must die". Count how many times he died and win a chance to be part of the beta. But remember you must be Part of the Daddy army and give a faith up and don't forget to turn on the Prophet, to get the news when a video goes live.
The ones I counted where, Dismemberment, Beheading, Disembowelment, Suffocation(on my own feces), Sawing me in half, letting me explode by pouring the mana into me, removing my brain while I was still conscious, forcing me to drink too much water, lifting me up and letting me fall to my death, breaking my neck, removing all of my skin and then bleeding out, dying due to being impaled(Vlad would be proud), being eaten alive by their summonings, torn and ripped apart, compressed and crushed to death by strong gravity, bashing my face in, getting hung on my own bowels and lets not forget about my personal favourite using my nails as shrapnel and launching them at me with wind magic. Now that is creativity. What followed was the basic stuff, like freezing me to death, burning, getting roasted like a pig or being shrunk and then eaten alive and dying to due dissolving in their stomach acid. You see stuff like that every day, where is your creativity bro.
Just now they create a high pitch noise until I bleed from every orifice and they are ripping out my skeleton and they finish the fucking video with me being thrown at the camera, slowly falling off it.
I will repeat myself but where is the creative part. You see stuff like that every day and yet he makes it looks like its one of the 7 world wonders.
Either way, I counted 25 deaths or 29 if the first 4 deaths count as well and yet I already lost my chance to take part in that giveaway. How very unfortunate.
" I hope you enjoyed this video. Let's smash that faith up button and let's go for 10.000 prayers. Join the prophet squad to never miss another video. The link to the give away is in the comment box below. This was Call me Daddy and I will talk to my Daddy Army in the next video again. Bye guys"
After the video ended I just stood there in silence until the Observer voiced a question.
" This video really is too cruel, how do you feel about having seen it?
' You tell me I am shocked, clickbait even exists in this world. There is no escape from it'
" Sorry, I was talking about the horrible stuff there were showing in this video"
' Yeah the shaky camera movement and the jumpcuts truly make one feel sick in the stomach'
" I was referring to the stuff what they did to you"
' That music choice was not really that great, it was not very fitting at all. You want metal, you want action that invokes a feeling. This is a vlog that should get your blood boiling, not sell the latest washing machine.'
" Let me be really specific here, I WAS talking about all the torture they did to you."
' Ah that, I don't mind really'
Silence ensued for a long time.
" Wait, what? Any other reaction would be appropriate, vowing revenge, puking in terror, looking away, laughing at the madness you had to face, but you just shrug your shoulders?"
' Stuff like that happens, for them, I am just a toy in a simulated world, so why should I bother? In the future, I will just get stronger and get rid of every one that gets in my way that's it. No hard feelings about yesterday. What counts for me is today. Because I actually did not die after fighting that mole. that had to be my lucky day'
"You are very strange indeed, I did not expect a reaction like that."
' When you stop learning in life, you are dead, life will always offer new perspectives, experiences you can make. Could you grant me one wish though?'
"You surely did not forget that I can influence the matter in this world at all right?"
' This metamorphosis is totally boring can you grant me access to Holy-Tube so I can browse videos, while I am forced to wait inside of this cocoon?'
And while you are at it, give me some books about the language that is spoken here and an account with whom I can comment on this guys videos.'
And that was the origin story, of the trendsetter and the first ever hater Call Me Daddy got.