~underneath the earth~
The feeling of weak and useless limbs pervaded Lucien. This kind of experience where one had the strength of mind and will, but when one tried to put it to action nothing came about due to unfair circumstances[0]. The struggle instead brought forth helplessness, for the soil of this land was directly related to the ordained rites of this world. When one crosses the earth's bed, one is lulled to memories one would deem as irrevocable or, if one is lucky, may also be the memories that one places great agape to.
There was no chance of retaliation, this Lucien knew, for he has been sent here countless of times. And yet he still persisted to bludgeon the earth and the Leviathan's Limbs, for some memories are too vivid, more tantalizing than any present human and deity's experience. Some memories, when remembered in all its glory, brings spring into the barren wasteland of the soul, while another probability is it brings with it the painful reality of having -emotions- the most unstable twist of creation. When one passes the earth, no matter how much apathetic one has grown, all sorts of locked up emotions will reawaken.
What made Lucien more tense was his previous encounter with Jin, for it triggered instead the irrevocable memories of that person. 'That little girl, she doesn't even realize she's playing in to their plan. How could she dare keep me in check?' he sighed deeply and his consciousness started to create ripples of darkness in the earth's womb. The emotions he sealed grew more fierce and flooded his mind, he loss consciousness.
The feeling of fighting a losing battle, is not a battle one would wish to take... and yet... it is inevitable...
White noise was all he could hear, his body aching everywhere, bones and muscles wanting relief beyond common sense. Lucien caught a particular scent in this state of senses, he knew that his mind was creating this illusion. This very memory which was etched into his mind... This scent which has been loss for a millennia.
"Brother, I haven't seen you in a while huh?" a sweet voice called out to Lucien.
He was woken up by a distant voice, the voice he yearned for 1,000 years. He tried to set his sight towards the origin of that voice. But his eyes failed him. Feeling immense fatigue, it was as if his eyes were covered with a burdensome weight. After trying for so long, he knew that his eyes would open. It was a memory after all and he knew how this memory would play out.
Slowly fluttering, revealing a blurred sight. Calmly waiting for his eyes to finally work, a pair of eyes locked unto a girl about the age of 20. He couldn't recognize her, ¤she¤ looked all grown up while covered with her lurid long robe. She was now a woman. Light amble steps touched the ground, with very gentle steps, one could hear nothing of her steps, as if the one walking was walking on air. She drawed near, stood in front of him, squated in a graceful and regal manner, and asked, "How have you been?" She still had that delicate and magnificent gaze, a stare which eclipsed a person on sight. Lucien was not immune to her charm, he always doted on this little sister of his. '私の妹...' the struggle to move his limbs became more erratic. The exhaustion became more distinguished losing the strength to even reach out to her. He closed his eyes as this irrevocable memory was taunting and haunting him. 'It's this memory...' Lucien thought. 'Even if it's just a memory, it's nice to see you again.' Lucien then gazed at the people behind Her. People who were not to be trusted stood a meter a part from Her, their stare was frosty. Lucien was reminded that he had never wanted strength before, but this particular incident made him wish he was stronger, stronger than these people that almost took his life. Whenever this memory came back to him, he would feel immense regret at his own recklessness. 'Truly impudent.'
With this memory, he would have the exact same emotions, a repetition of that past. He was still trying to move his limbs. He was fighting the soreness all over. 'Move!' She then sat by Lucien, she slowly placed her forehead on top of his. He saw the coldness in her eyes, she was not the same dame. 'Speak!!' Lucien shouted to himself.
"Zara..." a raspy voice called out weakly.
The woman looked at Lucien, and there was a faint disorganized look about her...
~Begonia's Shroud~
{Lucien's memory}
When they were still at heaven's domain, Lucien chanced upon
her journal entry...
A metallic taste from this golden cup called the elixir of life.
Had you ever told the tale that whosoever drinks from you will feel more finite than infinite?
After all, what's the use of everlasting youth when your limbs are no greater than those who sought this miracle drink.
Who, regardless of their conquest, still lays layer upon layer underneath this breaking earth.
Or maybe these alchemists are among us but not powerful amongst us.
Living a life so quiet, it's not exciting anyone to pursue this miracle drink.
I heard another damsel fell[6].
Another tale from you fooled this promising soul.
Personally, I think your actually about mortality. You see, this youth was far too young. Died too young while courting you. I thought you promised her what any human being desired?
Unless if, when she met you she realized that one cannot attain ones highest desire, and that death would seem so loving and intimate than to live in a world that brought utter annihilation of a selfish thought?
Elixir, is that the real name of death?
I wish so much that she did not die.
That she did not believe your lies.
I wish so much that she can read this while the earth brags about the way she sleeps with her bones and how these worms have eaten her corpse.
I desire that she may bask upon what we've become.
How I'm speaking to you now, confronting you, rather.
Elixir, could you stop lying to us? To your creator?
I'd rather tell these people the tales of doctors and their livid quest to prolong human life.
Take note, not for eternity, but just long enough until their families are strong enough for the goodbyes.
And share our curses about pricey and bitter medicine.
Talk about the cruel truth of human mortality.
While persisting in this fierce economy.
Building skyscrapers higher than the sky.
While still teaching the youth of better tomorrows that are already in their hands.
To not repeat history, rather to create discoveries
That in the end, we are still a community.
I'd rather shout these profanities to the ends of the earth...
Than to hear or speak of an elixir that never brought an ounce of pity. And brought great misery to its benefactor...
~end of journal~
Lucien contemplated on the burden her sister carried. From the moment it was written, to the extent that it was experienced. All the pain that he wished to share with her...
'I wish I didn't teach you how to create that accursed ball.' is what Lucien thought the moment he read this journal entry. Now, a few years later, seeing the girl who made this legendary elixir and remembering these lines. Everything became a white noise. And yet a raspy yet strong voice spoke again, this time with greater determination, "Zara..."
"Brother... why does it feel like stopping you brought greater danger to Gisela? Why did the elixir..."
Lucien gazed intently at Zara, the Zara that wrote her journal because she saw through the lens of humans. Her fate was bound by humans. And yet, even with the knowledge of the future, she was unable to change her destiny. They both knew about the creation of the elixirs and how it was taught to Gisela to break her. The question she asked broke Lucien's spirit. This was the very reason he rebelled. To not see her in this state.
"He lied to you, Zara." A deity whispered to Zara.
On hearing this, it brought great indignation to Lucien. These people he considered as family were now strangers. He observed these strangers... then he thought of this plight he was in... How could he accept the fate the Lord and Lady Iroko planned for them? Yes, they gave freedom, but they also allowed deities to see the future, to see their future choices and its outcome. How could he serve people who made freedom sound so unrealistic? "They!... They lied to.. Us!!" Lucien spoke in a parsed manner, his voice failing him.
Agitation could be seen from Zara's eyes, she could not help shout out, "You liar! The lady and the Lord would never...!" But mid-sentence she couldn't bring out the words at the tip of her tongue. At the end of the day, he was still her brother. His thoughts, she can clearly understand.
For the first time, Zara made sure to accomplish the task only she was given. She summoned the Leviathan. And as she did, tears rolled down her pale white cheeks relentlessly. Her heart told her something was wrong, but her mind couldn't rationalize the death of Gisela.
~After Lucien was taken by the Leviathan~
"Zara..," a slight hesitation could be seen before this deity continued, "which name would you prefer to be called." The deity that spoke before asked as she stood next to her.
Her pair of eyes which originally had a bluish color, one of it changed into a light gray. A dark-blue ocean deep shade was on the left eye while a light hazy-gray hue was on the right eye. It was truly stunning. The tears that were shed highlighted the peculiarity of her eyes which now showed heterochromia.
Another deity then walked in front of her, he opened his arms as if to gesture that he is willing to hug her.
Zara ran to him and hugged him tightly.
This other deity whispered, "You will always be you, regardless of what you've found out."
The deity that spoke earlier stood in front of the two, she caressed Zara's head like she would a child. She sighed as she intently observed Zara's continuous fragility. "One must make harsh decisions. Understand that what you did was necessary. He can't find out, not as of the moment."
Zara looked at the deity that spoke, her lips trembled as she tried to digest her words, her hug with the other deity became suffocating. Slowly, her whole body's strength regressed and she fainted. The other deity holding her slowly positioned her to carry her princess style, he sighed when he finally carried her and spoke in a cold manner, "Why... why must it be a pierced..."
"Stop..." the deity said, they gazed intently upon one another.
The other deity had a contemplating look. He then walked towards the rising sun. The other deity then walked forward and followed the other deity. There was this melancholic look about the deity walking behind. This deity thought, 'Seeing myself, seeing us like this... We are we..., but it is as if we are observing strangers...' the deity's lips quivered as her chin trembled. There was this tiredness surrounding the two deities. The sun was ablaze, they looked glorious but forlorn...
[0] I couldn't place this side comment into the text because I think it was inappropriate, rather, I placed it here for you to see some of the unfair circumstances 😅(like going through the earth being pulled by a Leviathan[1] and entering the сущность душа[2], drowning, falling, catastrophe's of nature, etc.) all of which, many unfair circumstances will come about in the story since in real life, life is never really that fair...
[1] The Leviathan here is the guardian of the сущность душа for only souls with Pure Daos may enter, any outsider not deemed by a summoner as worthy to enter will be cast out or killed by the Leviathan.
[2] сущность душа- pronounced as sushchnost' dusha. For me, the translation is 'the essence of spirit', (if there are any russian readers tell me if it's wrong, for educational purposes and to correct mistakes) 🤲 "The Essence of Spirit" is the center of this world. It is the place which brings balance to the whole world. One can only come here through the Leviathan. The Leviathan can be summoned by Specific deities who deem certain souls as "Souls who are one with their DAO and have no need for further answers for the infinite questions in life." These people are what we call, in the normal sense of the world, ~enlightened people~ who have chosen a specific way of living Regardless of the Knowledge of other beliefs. People who are sent to the сущность душа contribute their chosen dao to the сущность душа which in the first place has given them the seed of whatever dao they have now before they were even born. What they give will be given to the future progeny's of this world. In a sense, this world is greatly karmaic in nature giving and receiving, full circle. The сущность душа is considered the sacred core, if one has reached a bottleneck and was sent here by a summoner, one may find their dao. Many have tried to find a summoner to get to the Sacred Core. Some even tried to dig their way to this Sacred Core, but it's gates are far deeper than the soils of the Earth for this place is the beginning of the world, the home of Lady Iroko and the Lord[3] and the place where the Fayes[4] were created.
[3] The Lord here is a male deity that made mortals and immortals alike, have fates which tragically led to giving a 'sense of hope,' hope that is accounted with luck(more like being lucky enough to be interesting enough for him to let you live) wherein the coughs* victim* coughs* the Person regardless of being finite or infinite feels that death is better than this hopeless 'probability of surviving.' The Lord and Lady Iroko are somewhat abandonist creators. They create with the intention of you growing after little nurturing. The divine curse of freedom, as Jean Paul Sartre theorized is realized in many parts of the series.
[4] The Fayes aren't actually makers of fate, they just each see the past, the present, and the future choices of each human and deity and how it affects the whole world. Even they are unaware that some destinies that their particular action got entangled with has caused a change or mishap to it.
[5] I'll be posting side notes a lot more for better understanding of the story, read at your own risk and at the wits end of your patience.
[6] The damsel here is someone who will be labelled as an unknown but renowned character referenced in many tales. For now, let's call her as 'another damsel'