Hua Lin Yu smiled happily, not even sure what to say to Xin Lan's sweet words. When they were together like this, he always felt this way. When there was nothing to disturb them, they were the perfect couple. It was just a pity that as soon as somebody else came in between, he couldn't keep up with this feeling. He didn't know what to do about that.
Hua Lin Yu's expression became a little complicated, making Xin Lan wonder if he had said something wrong. "What's the matter?" He stopped in his tracks and reached out, cupping Hua Lin Yu's cheeks.
Hua Lin Yu really didn't know what to say but with Xin Lan reacting like this, he felt even worse. "I … it's nothing."
"It doesn't look like nothing."
Seeing Xin Lan so serious, Hua Lin Yu really didn't know how to change the topic. Usually, he would just tell him that he didn't need to say anything, that they could find a way to deal with it, but maybe it was because they were alone this time and outside in the wilderness that Xin Lan felt that it wouldn't be the right way to go about things.
He hesitated for a moment, not sure what to say. He couldn't tell him what he had just thought. Because if he did, that might really destroy their relationship. That was something he didn't want. He wanted to be with him. He really did. It was just that he was a bit insecure as well.
Hua Lin Yu continued to ponder for a moment and then just hugged Xin Lan's waist. Looking up at him, he slightly furrowed his brows. "You are always so nice to me. I feel like I'm not treating you well enough in return. I also don't know why I am hesitating. It would probably be better to just say yes and get married already."
Xin Lan looked at him and realized that his saying that Hua Lin Yu was special had probably triggered the same thought process as before. He sighed and then leaned down further until the two of them were at the same height. "I've said this before: You don't have to rush into anything.
"I have a lot of time. In any case, was born immortal. And there is hardly anyone in the world that would be able to kill me. So when it concerns time, you can waste quite a lot of it. I don't mind. I'd mind more if you were to force yourself to do something for my sake.
"I don't want your pity or that you marry me because of some sense of duty. I want you to marry me because you really love me. That is all that I want. Nothing less, nothing more. If you feel like you can't give that to me for now, then let's not get married. Let's continue to wait. In fact, let's just not think about getting married for now. In any case, being engaged also isn't bad, is it? Or maybe you don't want to put any kind of label on it? Maybe we could just be two people traveling together. I wouldn't mind either."
Hua Lin Yu leaned closer and rested his head against Xin Lan's shoulder. "I still feel like I'm letting you down." Especially because he knew that the reason for this was that while he wasn't able to give his love to Xin Lan, he had indeed given his heart to somebody else. That was something that he shouldn't have done. But it had still happened. He knew that it was wrong but he also couldn't change it anymore.
Xin Lan tilted his head to the side and kissed Hua Lin Yu's temple again, trying to reassure him. "Don't think about it. Just … just don't think of anything. Just continue traveling. Who knows? A year from now, everything might have changed already. And if it isn't a year, then maybe two or five will be enough. That isn't that much time at my age, but a lot of time in yours. I also know that. So just trust me when I say that it doesn't make much of a difference."
Hua Lin Yu nodded, even though in his heart he was still feeling a bit complicated. In any case, he did have to trust Xin Lan on this. He couldn't just decide on his own what he thought about this. He needed to think for the two of them.
Xin Lan was right — as was his brother — that this kind of thing could only work out if his heart was really there. So it was better to just give it time. In any case, even after just having left the dragon realm not that long ago, and spending time one-on-one with Xin Lan, he already felt like some of those feelings from before were returning. So with a bit more time like this, it was a given that things would change again, right? That was something he just had to believe in.
With that, Hua Lin Yu finally nodded. "Alright. Then let's do it that way. I swear I won't bring it up again for the time being. When I'm sure of my feelings, then I will tell you. So you also don't need to say anything. Just wait for me to figure it out on my own. Then, I will make a proposal for you the next time!"
Xin Lan couldn't help himself and laughed before kissing him on the lips. "Very well. I'm definitely looking forward to it." To be honest, this really was the truth. The person he loved proposing to him … how could anything better ever happen to him? More and more, he felt that Xiang Yu had done him a big favor by going on this new trial. Otherwise, he never would have met this youth and he would have missed out on a lot of happiness.