Chun Yin wasn't even thinking of making Qiu Ling leave. Instead, he reached out and took both their hands, looking at Qiu Ling and Jinde in turn, smiling faintly. "I'm happy that I was able to see you again. Being able to answer your questions, seeing that you're doing well, this is really fulfilling the last wishes."
Jinde and Qiu Ling nodded gravely, knowing that this really was goodbye.
Chun Yin wasn't quite sure how to continue from here. He sighed, trying to put his thoughts in order. "This will be the last time we are able to see each other. I hope that just like in the years since back then, you will go on living well. I wish I could be there for you but there's nothing I can do." He glanced at Jinde when he said so, his gaze turning a little subtle. "What we spoke about before … I will keep it to myself. I will seal that memory off. That is the last thing I can do for you."
Jinde's eyes widened slightly. He had thought that this time, he really wouldn't be able to get around telling Leng Jin Yu the whole truth but now it turned out that he still didn't have to. He knew he probably shouldn't entertain the thought but deep inside, he was still relieved. The mistakes of the past … he just couldn't face them yet. "Thank you."
Chun Yin nodded and then turned to Qiu Ling. "I don't know if you would mind but I will do the same for you. That bit of time we had together … I want it to be just between the two of us. If you want to share it with somebody else, you can. If you don't, it's also alright. Don't think too much. Maybe it's just that I'm a little selfish."
Qiu Ling smiled, feeling that this really showed that they were actually quite similar. If it was him, he would do the same thing. "It's alright."
Chun Yin nodded and then just continued to look at them. There was nothing left to say. At the very least, nothing that he would be able to finish in the short amount of time that he still had. It hadn't been much, barely enough, but that couldn't be changed. He could only be thankful for the little that he had gotten.
"Farewell."
He closed his eyes and his lips actually curved up into a faint smile. This time, his final death was actually shared with his two most important people. And the last thing he saw and heard before his life really ran out were precisely the two of them. Even though it hurt a bit to leave them behind, to be unable to share their future, he felt content. This was the best way to leave this world.
Qiu Ling and Jinde looked at him. Qiu Ling squeezed his hand, wanting to hold onto him even for just a second longer. Unfortunately, it didn't work like this. Looking at him for me for a few more seconds, he realized that his father was already gone and in his stead, the person he had been reincarnated to had returned.
He let go of his hand and stepped back, finally turning away and leaving. He didn't go back to the bamboo hut. He didn't know where to go or what to do. He only knew that he felt at a loss.
He had been young when his father died for the first time. And although he would outwardly complain about him all the time, that didn't change the fact that he had missed him terribly.
To have him back for just a short time was a blessing he never would've hoped for. But now, it was gone. This last chance … it had gone by just like this and it would never come back.
He didn't know if he had used it enough. That short amount of time, how could it be sufficient to ask everything he wanted to? How could it allow him to say everything he wanted to say? It just wasn't possible. And was he was afraid that if he looked back in a few years, he would come to regret the things he hadn't been able to speak about. And he really didn't know what to do about it because by then, who would he complain to? The person was already gone.