Chun Yin held onto Jinde, even tightening his grasp on him. He reached up, his fingers grabbing onto the thick golden hair. He took a deep breath, tears gathering in his eyes. He would never tell Jinde but the last few years of his life had been miserable. He had missed him. He had missed him more than words could say. If he got the chance to do a once-over, he would take it in a heartbeat.
This person … he loved him more than anything. Unfortunately, he couldn't change anything. He had to make his peace with the fact that it was already over. This wasn't a second chance for him, it was only a chance to say his goodbyes. A chance for a last farewell, for making up for a few of the things that he had put him through.
He knew he couldn't ask for more but, of course, he gladly would have taken some more time. He longed to finally be Jinde's lover for once. The person at his side. It was a pity that he would never have that chance.
He continued to hold onto Jinde, thinking back to all the times he had hugged him like this in the past.
Jinde was a little stiff at first but finally hugged him back, closing his eyes. He didn't know what to say at this moment. Once again, he felt deeply that this was actually his husband's body and that only Chun Yin's soul had currently taken over. Hugging him … didn't give him the sense of actually holding Chun Yin. Instead, it made him think of his current husband instead. To him, even though Chun Yin was actually right in front of him, he was only someone from his past.
He reached up, wrapping one arm around his neck, and secretly wiped his eyes.
Chun Yin couldn't help but chuckle. "You know, you can still cry after I'm gone."
"And make my husband worry for me? I'd rather he not see this."
Chun Yin interlaced his fingers behind Jinde's back and smiled. "I wonder if I would have gotten the same consideration."
Jinde smiled. "I don't think so. In any case, what other lover would you be worried about? There was no one. Never."
Chun Yin lightly tilted his head but only saw those waves of golden hair. Combing through them, he smiled to himself. "Are you sure about that? You know, you can tell that new husband of yours a lot. He isn't of the immortal races, he doesn't know that much yet. It's not strange that there are some things that he wouldn't be able to understand. Just getting back a few of his memories … I think I actually see a bit more than he does."
Jinde stiffened and then leaned back. "You …"
Chun Yin looked at him, still smiling faintly. "He would be able to figure it out if he regained my memories anyway. Just tell me if I'm right."
Jinde stared at him, not quite sure how to react. He knew that there was one lie he had been telling Leng Jin Yu all along. But he had hoped that he would be able to keep it a secret forever. But now it seemed that when he had made the decision that he wanted the answers to the questions that had been bothering him, he had finally made the truth come to light.
He hesitated, still not sure what to do. But looking at him, Chun Yin's gaze was quite open. He wasn't judging him for what he had done. He just wanted to know the truth. In the end, Jinde sighed. "It is exactly how you think it was."
Chun Yin nodded. "Well, it's not like there would have been that many more explanations.
Jinde slightly furrowed his brows at that. "What made you realize?"
Chun Yin kept quiet, his gaze pensive. In fact, there were many things that had contributed to this. But one of the major ones was the one secret that he wanted to take to the grave. Naturally, he would not tell Jinde. "Well, the things you have told your husband … I guess there were a few loopholes in them. Further than that, aren't there traces all over your body?" He reached out, tugging at Jinde's robe where the fabric was hiding the black scars on his skin. "I do understand that the soul-devouring dagger is not what left those. As long as you are of the immortal races and from our generation, it doesn't take a genius to figure that out."
Jinde furrowed his brows. "So finally, I give myself away. Seems like there will be an argument incoming. I really shouldn't have insisted on making him rediscover his memories."
Chun Yin gave a hum, looking into those golden eyes. The memory of them had kept him awake countless nights since he had left the dragon realm's capital city back then. He reached up and cupped Jinde's cheek, caressing his skin with his thumb. "I guess that no matter how many arguments there are, he would never leave you. Especially not after regaining the memories from my life. He would have to be an even bigger idiot than me to do so."
Jinde couldn't help but smile at that. "I guess I'm safe then. Leng Jin Yu is actually really smart in comparison."
Chun Yin loved and pulled him back into his arms, giving him another tight hug before he closed his eyes and forced himself to get up.