Feeling reassured by Xin Lan's words, Hua Lin Yu finally calmed down. Lying in the arms of this person that he had longed for, he felt especially comfortable. Before drifting off to sleep, he couldn't help but think that it must be supposed to be this way. The two of them … maybe they were destined for each other. That thought really made him happy.
Meanwhile, Xin Lan was lying next to him, wondering about Hua Lin Yu's attitude in general. Back as a fallen god, he had always been a little strange. On one hand, he would go on and on about how he disliked him and didn't want to see him on the grounds of him being a 'fake' dragon but, on the other hand, he would come to look for him and annoy him to death. It was so inconsistent, he just couldn't wrap his head around it.
If he hadn't been a fallen god of all things, he might have thought that Xiang Yu was interested in him but playing hard to get to entice him. It wouldn't have been the first time that that kind of thing happened. But fallen gods naturally couldn't be regarded like normal people. They were completely obsessed with one thing and from what he had seen of Xiang Yu so far, that should either be finding the perfect partner or something that had to do with his husband.
Anyway, since Xiang Yu became a mortal, his behavior had changed quite a bit. He was suddenly so clingy and seemed to be really focused on him. Why was that?
Originally, he had believed that maybe this Hua Lin Yu remembered some of the things that had happened to him as Xiang Yu. Maybe he knew that there was an agreement between them and that was why he actually demanded to stay with him. Or maybe he remembered whatever Xiang Yu's wish had been and wanted to fulfill it through him.
By now, Xin Lan doubted that this was the case though. While this boy was still just as clingy, that only seemed to be because of his memories from his childhood. If he could remember his days in the High Heavens or the demon realm, he likely would have told him. Even if he didn't say directly, there should have been some kind of indication that he was aware. After all, there still was that wish of his, right?
But there hadn't been anything for his childhood and even now that they had seen each other again after he grew up, there had been nothing. Maybe it was too early to conclude anything but he felt that there had to be another explanation for why that child had gotten so attached to him in the beginning.
Xin Lan crossed his arms behind his head, staring up at the ceiling while he remembered those early days with Hua Lin Yu. To be honest, he had always kind of disliked children. Back when he was born, his race had gone nuts about them because they felt that they carried hope for them to maybe lift Tian's curse in the future. And when it became apparent that not all of them were unaffected by the curse and that only a select few were in that position, they had completely stopped treating them like normal people.
It sounded good on paper to be worshiped like that but the memories he had of that time really weren't nice. Even to this day, he'd rather be cursed together with the other than to suffer this fate of being an outsider always damned to be on his own. Unfortunately, he had never been able to overcome that.
Thinking back now, his envy of other children felt ridiculous. Even after becoming an adult, he had still been just as much of an outsider. The simple truth was that no matter what he did, he would never be able to escape this identity.
The chosen one … how laughable.
Anyway, complaining about it wouldn't get him anywhere. He had been born into this role and he couldn't change it. That was impossible. He could only take life as it was and inch forward step by step. Right now, that meant to fulfill the promise of being this youth's lover.
He turned to glance at him, sighing to himself. Anyway, he had grown up and wasn't that infuriating child anymore. Becoming his lover was something he could do. In fact, it would be ridiculously easy to please him for a few years. After all, hadn't he done that hundreds of times already? He might not have the same special status in the mortal world that he could enjoy in the immortal realms but just being himself should be enough for that. Especially with how attached this little beauty already was.
Yes, he wouldn't have any trouble fulfilling that oath. And after that … after that … he could go back to his original life.
Xin Lan continued to stare at Hua Lin Yu's face for a moment and then gave a sigh, closing his eyes for a moment before he pulled Hua Lin Yu into his arms.
Returning to his usual life … That should be something happy but he could only feel emptiness. Seriously, what was there in his life to look forward to?
He had never had any hopes that Jinde would change his mind about being with him but since he had gotten together with his husband, he felt even worse. It would be better if he was able to have that type of love as well but he knew that it was idiotic to even think about.
He wouldn't have that kind of luck. Not him. That was, unfortunately, a foregone conclusion. He could only try to live in the present and enjoy the small pleasures that might bring. There was no other choice. That was the life that he had unwittingly been cursed with.