Unbeknownst to Jing Yi, Qiu Ling was able to see his face very well in the dark. He could see that resentment, that helplessness, that hope of things maybe changing the future. It made him feel even worse.
Yes, he wanted to make sure that Jing He wouldn't suffer because of him. He wanted to decide in a way that wouldn't put him in a spot where he had to be jealous of himself. But it had made him forget that Jing Yi was in a very similar situation.
It was just that while when Jing He woke up, things with Jing Yi would already be in the past and never be able to be brought back. On the contrary, Jing Yi was in a situation where Jing He was the inevitable future. Wouldn't he feel even worse? But what could he do about that? He loved Jing He. He also loved Jing Yi. Regardless of what he did, one of them would be hurt.
Qiu Ling closed his eyes, sighing to himself. He had thought that his worries would be over after having that talk with Jing Yi before they even entered his father's realm. And for the past few years, it hadn't been brought up again. In fact, life with Jing Yi had been especially sweet this time. But now that they were outside, something like this happened again. It really made him wonder if there was no way to get around this.
Qiu Ling agonized over this for a while and finally couldn't take it any longer. He sat up and stared into the dark, getting up in the end and leaving the house. He needed a second opinion on this. He couldn't let things go on like this.
He rushed over to the array leading to the secret realm and stepped into it, half expecting to be transported over. Unfortunately, nothing happened. He stared at those thin lines on the ground with fury and then threw an attack at it, trying to make the person inside let him.
Inside the realm, Leng Jin Yu opened his eyes and sighed. "Qiu Ling is trying to get back into the realm. Do you think he was contacted again by his people?"
Jinde didn't even bother to raise his head from his chest. "Just ignore him. Even if he was, we can still come back tomorrow morning. He knows that I'm outside right now. Is he really not able to leave us alone for just one night? Heavens, I'm slowly starting to feel that it was good that we weren't together while he was a child. He probably would've interrupted us in every possible moment."
"I hope you do realize that this won't necessarily be different when we have a child together."
Jinde chuckled and scratched his husband's chest. "Ah? Are you worried? Don't be. I'm sure that my child will be really lovable and not do something like that. Anyway, won't they have a big brother and a brother-in-law as well? We can just send our child over for them to take care of while we have a moment to ourselves. Don't you think that's a good idea?"
Leng Jin Yu brushed through Jinde's hair, a thoughtful expression on his face. "The idea is good but are you sure that this will work out? You want a child, but to be honest, I think Qiu Ling might want one as well."
This time, Jinde raised his head after all and peered into his husband's face. "What do you mean?"
Leng Jin Yu hesitated for a moment but then sighed and turned to Jinde, pulling him back into his arms. "Think about it. Why do you want a child so much? Isn't that because you didn't have a family of your own? You want to make up for what was lost. You also want to feel closer to me and you probably feel that the child will help with that. Also, you love children but I think that the previous two reasons are playing a very big role.
"Isn't Qiu Ling the same? He grew up in a way that … I don't even want to imagine it. He was alone for most of his life. And I think the only semblance of a family that he got was after he met the Son of Heaven. Don't you think that he would also want to start his own family?"
Jinde kept quiet for a while but then nodded. "I think you're not that far off. I guess it's true. Well, if we time it right, we could have a child at the same time as them. Wouldn't that also be nice?"
"It would. But knowing Qiu Ling, I'm rather afraid the two of us would be the ones taking care of both children in that case instead of handing ours over to them for a moment?"
Jinde laughed. "You forgot that there is still the Son of Heaven. Even if Qiu Ling doesn't want to, from everything I've heard so far, the Son of Heaven would never be like that."
Leng Jin Yu nodded. "That could be. I've never met him so I'm not quite sure what to expect. He is probably quite different from Zhong Jing Yi."
"Probably. Anyway, has he left already?"
Leng Jin Yu frowned and tried to sense what was going on at the array. Surprisingly enough, although Qiu Ling was still standing there, he had actually stopped attacking the array. It seemed that whatever was the matter wasn't that urgent after all.
"He's still there but I guess we should just go back to sleep." He turned to the side and kissed Jinde's forehead, giving him a smile in the dark. "To be honest, I never really thought about children before you brought it up. But thinking about it now … I actually feel that it'd be quite nice. You'll definitely make a great parent and I'll do my best."
"Then I guess I should do my utmost to heal as fast as possible."
"Mn, you should. So for now, we should go back to sleep. It's healthy as well."
Jinde laughed but still did as Leng Jin Yu had said. Yes, he should do what he could to make this dream come true.