Leng Jin Yu looked at the dragon king's wistful expression and smiled. "Try me." He also knew that this might not work out. Too much time had passed since his last life and he couldn't even remember. Whatever troubles Qiu Ling had, it was likely that he indeed wouldn't be able to help. But he should at least try. This much he owed him.
Qiu Ling snorted. "What's there to try? You can't give Jing He back to me with an uninjured soul and as for the rest …" He sighed and looked up at the small patch of sky he could see between the treetops. "The answers I want … you can't give them to me either." He sighed yet again and shook his head. "I bet if you've remembered anything, it would only be about the old geezer." He chuckled without even the slightest trace of humor. Maybe someday he would be exactly like this. Living together with his Jing He, spending every waking minute at his side and holding him in his arms while they slept, only thinking about him, remembering him, reveling in his company … There would be no time for anyone else.
Beside him, Leng Jin Yu grimaced. There was indeed nothing he could say about this. The few things he had remembered were indeed all about Jinde. And even that bit only amounted to a few detached pictures. A smile that Jinde had given him, the way those slender hands held a sword, some droplets of water sparkling in that golden hair … He could hardly talk about that with Qiu Ling, could he?
Leng Jin Yu could only sigh. Having this talk would be even more difficult than he had thought. He had been way too optimistic when he prompted him to try him. Still, this wasn't the moment to give up. No, he had to at least try. "There's indeed not much that I can remember. But maybe you'd still like to give it a try."
Qiu Ling shook his head. "What use is there? You don't remember her, do you?" He turned to look at Leng Jin Yu and raised his brows.
Leng Jin Yu shook his head. No, he indeed couldn't remember that wife of his. There was only Jinde left in his mind. It really made him wonder just what had driven Chun Yin to marry her in the first place. Wasn't it painfully obvious that all his thoughts had been with Jinde? "I don't." He didn't add anything else. They both knew the truth so why should he try to make excuses?
Qiu Ling nodded. "I expected as much. You don't remember me either, do you?"
This time Leng Jin Yu didn't know how to react anymore. He indeed couldn't remember the dragon king but saying so would certainly hurt him. He couldn't pretend that things were different though. After all, what should he say if Qiu Ling wanted to hear about his memories? He couldn't just bring up one of the things Jinde had told him, could he?
Qiu Ling smiled. "I expected as much. To you, we were never important. All your thoughts, all your energy was always spent on him. There was no place for us."
Leng Jin Yu shook his head in an attempt to make this less unbearable. "I remember almost nothing. It has nothing to do with whatever I thought in my past life. It's just that I'm not strong enough to break through the barrier separating those memories from me. It's hard to gather that strength in the mortal realm too so it'll likely take some time until I will be able to see them."
Qiu Ling merely glanced at him. "Do you really believe that?"
Leng Jin Yu wanted to answer but Qiu Ling already interrupted him.
"He was the love of your life, the person destined for you. It's not something I can fault you for. If this was me … I would do exactly the same thing. Between Jing He and you, he would always come first. He would come first in front of everyone, including myself. That's the way we are. Maybe this is proof that I am indeed a dragon. Despite my mother's blood I still love like a dragon. I can also bind my soul. That does make me a dragon, doesn't it?"
Leng Jin Yu examined the handsome profile of the person next to him. It seemed that this was what really bothered him? Well, considering who he had fallen in love with that worry wasn't without reason. "You wouldn't mind as much if your mother had been a full-blooded dragon, would you?"
Qiu Ling snorted and turned to pick up the vials with the resin. Other than one he put all of them into his spatial ring. As for the last one, he twirled it between his fingers, staring at the liquid inside that seemed to be almost frozen, the surface barely stirring at the movement. "Neither a demon nor a dragon. That was her heritage and now it is mine too. Three-quarters of my blood is that of a dragon, everything about me is just like a dragon. But that one-quarter of blood she passed on to me has the power to ruin my life. Can't I hate that fact?"
"You can. Unfortunately, it won't change a thing. When you're finished with hating it, nothing will have changed. You'll still have that quarter of demon blood that can destroy your life. Nothing you do can change that."
Qiu Ling threw the final vial into his spatial ring and got up, walking a few steps away. "Since it can't be changed what do you expect me to do? Nothing?" He harrumphed. "Then what? If somebody finds out … And that bastard Jin Ling knows. He's just waiting for the moment when it'd hurt the most to expose me. That's the way he is and the direction my life is going in."
"Then you should expose it before he can do so."
Qiu Ling sighed. "But then … Wouldn't I have lost even the last opportunity to be with Jing He? Right now, I can still hope. Maybe he'll forget about it, maybe we'll already be married when it comes to light. There are so many ways this could play out, maybe I'll get lucky just this once. But if I tell anyone about this, then they'll forbid me from seeing Jing He forever. I wouldn't be able to take that."