"Master …" Xin Lan interrupted himself when he noticed that this was exactly how he had greeted him in his dream. His gaze flickered and he purposefully stayed down. If he really tried to get up, his Master wouldn't let him anyway.
Jinde nodded and came over, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "How are you?"
Xin Lan nodded with a bad feeling. "Better …"
Jinde couldn't help but smile. Xin Lan was probably worrying whether he had been here before and seen his arousal. Most likely, it would be even more embarrassing for Xin Lan to be seen that way than it had been for him to see it. If he wasn't afraid what it might entail, he would have made fun of him. Now, he could only pretend not to know what this was about and direct the attention elsewhere. "Don't worry. You only slept for a while. Should I take a look at your injury to see if it's safe to go?"
Xin Lan sighed. "No need. I can already feel that I'm better. After being in your care, there wouldn't be any problems."
"Alright. But don't force yourself, yes?"
"I wouldn't." Xin Lan finally sat up and turned to the side. He stared off into space for a moment. Fate truly was a strange thing. Meeting his Master back then when he had been on the verge of dying, following him all those years and even considering to take his own life after his Master had supposedly died … And now they had reunited. Things were almost like in the past. His Master waited for his lover to return while he hurried around to do whatever for him.
"Xin Lan?" Jinde reached out and gently tapped his arm. "Are you really alright?"
"Mn. I … couldn't help but think of the past."
"Ah." Jinde nodded. So it was that. He had just … dreamed of the past. It had to be that. "That's also good, isn't it? Without that past, we wouldn't be where we are today. It made us into the people we are."
"Don't you wish sometimes that things could have been different? Maybe things could have worked out between you and that man. Maybe … Maybe I didn't do enough for you back then. Had I taken care of Jian Heng …"
Jinde shook his head. "I didn't know his plan. You didn't know either. Nobody but Jian Heng knew. That was why … there was no way to stop him. The only thing you might have been able to stop was that … bargain we made. But then again, you did advise me not to believe in him."
"You weren't in your right mind at that time. It hadn't been that long since that man left you and … that child …"
"Still. A demon child isn't anything to take lightly. I should have known. But I … I'd rather believe in the beautiful lies he told me than in the truth the person I trusted most told me. That truly was the gravest mistake I ever committed."
"I thought so too. But I don't anymore."
Jinde raised his brows. "What do you mean? You were always against this. Wasn't that why you disliked Jin Ling?"
Xin Lan snorted. "There's so much to dislike about him. I don't need to hold his father's decisions against him."
"Then …"
"Even if I don't like to admit it, you needed him. I already said that you weren't in your right mind. And honestly, I don't know if you would have been able to turn back. A dragon losing their other half is bitter … I heard."
Jinde smiled. Yes, losing your other half was bitter. Even now that he had Leng Jin Yu, he couldn't help but think of his days with Chun Yin every now and then. The love he had found had never vanished and even after Chun Yin's reincarnation, it stayed with him and accompanied him every day. However happy he was right now, he would never be able to forget the pain that losing him had caused.
"You were half-mad back then and only one step away from losing yourself completely. Jian Heng knew and he took advantage of that. And while I hated him for it and couldn't understand why you would accept his proposal, I was still happy that you did in the end. Because when you looked at that child you seemed a lot better. You could finally smile again and even though there was still that pain in your gaze, it lessened with every day."
"That's true. Jin Ling … he was …" He sighed. "Let's not talk about that anymore. I exiled him and I can never see him again. What use is there being glad that he brought my happiness back for a short while?"
Xin Lan nodded and turned to the door. "At the very least, that was also something that made you hold on until now. If not because of him, you might not even be alive anymore. Then what about your husband?"
"Mn. That's true."
"I should go now. I'll find out about that fallen god and get that brat his lover back. Then we'll find a way to treat your soul."
"Alright." Jinde nodded and watched Xin Lan leave with a smile. Mn, those plans sounded quite nice. He was only afraid that things would go wrong somewhere. Right now, every step they took could either set things right or take them one step closer to the abyss. He didn't know why he felt so. Jian Heng was already dead. Even if he hid from Jin Ling, he didn't believe for even a moment that Jin Ling would do anything to him if he found him by some stroke of luck. No, with how Jin Ling was, he would demand the impossible but he wouldn't hurt him. In fact, he would treasure him just as much as Leng Jin Yu treasured him.
"Ah, that child …" Jinde shook his head. "Can't you fall in love normally like everyone else? Why does it have to be me? Just find someone nice you can love for the rest of your life. Maybe then … I'd let you come back home."