Jinde glanced up from his table only to see Xin Lan standing in the doorway. "Xin Lan?" He took a closer look and got up. "What happened? You're bleeding!" He hurried over and gently touched Xin Lan's shoulder, trying to get a closer look at the wound. "You didn't go up against that fallen god on your own, did you?"
Xin Lan shook his head and watched those fair hands tug at his robe to examine the wound.
"This doesn't look good. The weapon barely missed your heart. How come?" He glanced up and met Xin Lan's eyes.
"I … was careless."
"You?" Jinde smiled and patted his other shoulder. "I guess being too strong also comes with its own difficulties, hm? You should pay more attention to your safety."
"Yes, Master."
"Alright, come in then. We should treat that." He went to his own room and rummaged through his spatial ring. Mn, with Xin Lan's constitution, this shouldn't be too hard to take care of. He had been hurt much worse before. It was close to the heart though. He couldn't take this lightly.
Xin Lan slowly followed him but once again stepped in the doorway. What exactly was he doing here? This injury wasn't that bad. He didn't need to bother his Master with this. So why …
Jinde took out what he needed and put everything down next to the bed. Ah, it really was a pity that he didn't have a room just for doing this kind of thing. He should talk with Jin Yu about this when he came back. Thinking of his husband, he smiled and turned to the door. "Xin Lan? Still not coming over?"
Xin Lan nodded and walked toward him one step after the other, his breath caught in his throat. He didn't take his eyes off Jinde when he sat down.
"Your robe."
Xin Lan undid his belt and let go, slowly opening his robe.
"Aiya, are you really hurt so much that you need so long?" Jinde pushed the fabric off his shoulders and started to rinse the wound. "Mn, it's a clean stab. With your constitution …" He dried Xin Lan's skin and took one of the vials, pouring the salve inside onto his hand. "It should be gone completely in two weeks' time but you should be able to move normally in about three to four hours."
"Ah."
Jinde busied himself while Xin Lan's gaze followed every movement of his.
"Your husband …" He took a shaky breath and calmed his madly beating heart. Jinde's hands weren't far from it. How could he let him feel his heartbeat? "He isn't here today?"
"Mn." Jinde placed some herbal leaves on top of the salve. "Say … that fallen god … did you find out anything?"
"Not as much as I hoped to but there is a clue I intend to follow as soon as …" He looked down at the hands still tending to his wound. For a moment, he indulged the idea of reaching up to them, of taking them into his and caressing the soft skin. He closed his eyes and suppressed the urge once again. Even if he held onto these hands, it would just force him to come up with an explanation because there was no way his feelings would be returned or even appreciated.
Jinde glanced up and smiled when he saw Xin Lan's eyes closed. Could it be this stoic person would finally relax a little? Mn, that was good then. He had made Xin Lan worry way too much over the years.
He picked up a bandage and started to dress the wound. His fingers brushed Xin Lan's skin every so often and he couldn't help but look at the scars lining his body. A lot of those had been acquired in fights Xin Lan got into for him. He had never asked him to but he also hadn't dissuaded him enough.
"Xin Lan …"
"Mn?" Those eyes cracked open.
"If Qiu Ling manages to do what he promised and … Jin Ling will be unable to find me, then … what do you want to do?"
"What do you mean?"
Jinde continued to dress the wound and pondered his following words. He didn't want to make Xin Lan feel that he had been used and was thrown away now that he wasn't needed anymore. With his personality, that kind of misunderstanding would be possible. "I mean … since the day I found you on that road, you stayed by my side. Over the years, you helped me so much. Sometimes I think that … if it hadn't been for you, then I wouldn't even be alive anymore. Even though I always held on for Chun Yin's sake, one's will can only support a person so far. If not for your presence, I might not have had the strength to really see it through."
He sighed and finished with the wound. "You've done a lot for me."
Xin Lan gulped. "I wanted to." He reached out and this time, he really took Jinde's hand. He knew him too well. After all these years, if he didn't understand that Jinde wanted to send him away, then he would have wasted his time at Jinde's side. "It was my own wish. Not just to repay you but because I wanted to. Didn't we already talk about this when I found out you were still alive? Master. That day … It was one of the best I had had in a long time. I don't want to leave. I don't want you to leave me again."
Jinde sighed again and clasped Xin Lan's hand. "It's not that I want you to go. I enjoy having you by my side. But you've lived with me for a long time and you might be missing out on other things. You should … think a bit more about yourself. Is there nobody you like?"
Xin Lan's lips curved up. Somebody he liked … Wasn't that person right in front of him? But he couldn't reach out and pull him into his arms, he couldn't even say so because … he already belonged to somebody else.
Xin Lan glanced at the obvious mark on Jinde's neck. "I'm afraid … not everyone can be as lucky as Master in that regard, finding your match that was made in the High Heavens."