While Jing Yi questioned what he knew about his current and his past life, Leng Jin Yu regretted what he had done in his life as Chun Yin. He reached out with trembling fingers but Jinde caught his hand and shook his head.
"It's not that bad. Just don't look." He even smiled but that just made it worse.
Leng Jin Yu closed his eyes and cursed himself inside. Back then, back in his past life, why had he been that easily manipulated? Why hadn't he stayed at Jinde's side? Why hadn't he protected him and made sure that something like this couldn't happen?
He opened his eyes again and once again looked at his lover. Jinde was perfect. Those slender limbs, that soft skin, the way he behaved with such elegance … Just looking at him could make someone lose their head. So how had someone been able to bear injuring him to this extent?
He kissed Jinde's hand before reaching out again, carefully tracing one of the black scars lining his abdomen. "Does it … Does it still hurt?"
Jinde reached up, cupped his husband's cheeks and lifted his head up to him. "You don't have to force yourself."
"I'm not. I just … I feel like this is my fault." He escaped from Jinde's grasp and lowered his head, his forehead touching Jinde's chest. Ah, he shouldn't have allowed something like this to happen! What kind of man was he that he couldn't even protect the person he loved?!
Jinde sighed and combed through his hair. "I guess this means we won't have sex now."
Leng Jin Yu lifted his head. How was Jinde still in the mood to joke around?
Jinde chuckled. "What? You think I'm being strange? Jin Yu. This isn't anything that happened yesterday or even last year. It's been thousands of years. It doesn't hurt anymore, it doesn't hinder me in anything I do. It's just … It doesn't look very nice. So how about you just forget about it?"
Leng Jin Yu frowned. Wasn't it too late for that? He had already seen. How could he just pretend he hadn't? Although he could understand where Jinde was coming from. He had obviously always placed a high value on his appearance. That was why he hadn't wanted to admit that he was older than him in the beginning. And if he was already afraid of being judged as old … Just how much would these scars bother him?
He sat up and stroked one of them, trying not to look as pained. He had to give him the feeling that he didn't love him less because of this. He had to reassure him so Jinde wouldn't be hurt on another level. The physical pain, the pain to his soul … he had had to deal with that. He couldn't hurt him emotionally now.
"You know that this doesn't change anything, don't you?"
Jinde smiled wryly. Hearing that … was really nice. Unfortunately, he knew full well that Leng Jin Yu didn't really understand what this was about. He sighed and reached over, encircling his neck with his arms again.
"I'm kind of happy you were too busy yesterday to notice. That would have really killed the mood."
"I …" Leng Jin Yu leaned down and kissed his forehead, then his lips. "I love you."
Jinde chuckled. "I know that. Although … I don't mind hearing that a few more times. It's really nice. I didn't have that opportunity too often with Chun Yin so you'll have to make up for it. I think …" He traced the line of Leng Jin Yu's neck with his finger until he reached his clavicle. He looked up through his lashes and smiled. "Telling me three times a day might be a good start. Anything below that will get you into trouble."
Leng Jin Yu blinked. Why did it feel … as if Jinde was teasing him again? Shouldn't this have stopped now that they were married? "I …"
"I know. You agree. So what kind of punishment do you think we should administer if you forget about it?"
"I …"
"That sounds good. A kiss for each time it is then."
Leng Jin Yu raised his brows. It seemed his lover wanted to play? "That doesn't sound like a punishment at all. Aren't you afraid I might 'forget' about it on purpose if you threaten me with this?"
"Well … you haven't asked me what your reward for remembering it is."
Leng Jin Yu laughed. "Alright, I should have expected it."
"Still not curious?"
"I think I'd like to be surprised." He pulled Jinde up against his chest and smiled.
There was nothing he could do about Jinde's injuries. Crying over spilled milk would just dampen the mood. That certainly wasn't what Jinde needed right now. No, rather than that he should concentrate on making up for the lost time from their last life.
"So what should we do today?"
"Oh? Is my husband adventurous today?"
Leng Jin Yu laid back down next to him. "Well, you've told me a lot about yourself already but we'll need some time to get familiar with each other. Regardless of what was in my previous life, I'm not Chun Yin, after all. Doing something together should be helpful."
"Mn. Yes, it's just a pity that I can't leave here." He turned around in his lover's arms and propped his torso up on his elbows.
Leng Jin Yu couldn't help but look at that butt sticking into the air. Alright, maybe it would be better if they got dressed.
Jinde noticed his gaze and couldn't help but tease him. "Do you like what you see? You know I wouldn't mind continuing where we left off before. You promised me anyway."
Leng Jin Yu shook his head. "I think I've already ruined the mood."
"I don't think it'd be so hard to repair it considering how you've looked at me just now."
Leng Jin Yu smiled but didn't agree.
Jinde harrumphed and sat up. "Then I'd like to take a bath."
"I'll get you water." Leng Jin Yu immediately got up and picked up his robe from the floor, putting it on to prepare everything for his partner.
Jinde watched him happily. Mn, this would be fun.