Qiu Ling was just as stunned as Jing Yi. His beloved was already awake? Then did this mean his surprise hadn't worked?! Oh no! Why did this have to happen now of all times when that bastard Jin Ling was trying something fishy? Ugh, this wasn't good. He had to do something!
He hurried over and pulled the fruits out of his spatial ring, presenting them to Jing Yi. "My —" He coughed and looked to the side. "Uh, my apologies for not returning sooner. I went to find something to eat for you. It took a little longer than expected."
Jing Yi looked at him, his expression not changing at all.
Qiu Ling paused. "Uh … You don't like them?" He looked at the fruits in his hands and felt dumb. He had followed Jing Yi since his birth but he wasn't even able to find something he'd like to eat. But his beloved had never seemed like a picky eater and what else was he supposed to get? There weren't that many things around in the forest! Mn? Maybe it wasn't about the fruits themselves?
Qiu Ling tilted his head and examined them a little more closely. It seemed … they were a little dirty? He cleared his throat and motioned at the pond. "I … I'll go and wash them for you." He didn't wait for Jing Yi's reply and just hurried over, washing the fruits meticulously.
Mn, right, he should have thought of that before. His beloved was a very neat person. He didn't like dirty things. Naturally, he wouldn't eat something that hadn't been cleaned. Ah, how could this have slipped his mind? He wasn't careful enough! The next time, he'd need to pay more attention.
While Qiu Ling was worrying about his lack of care, Jing Yi observed him, his own thoughts circling around his past and present life.
He had given one promise to one man each. He couldn't fulfill both at the same time. Back in the secret realm when he just remembered everything. Tian had felt so incredibly close to him that he hadn't hesitated to decide on him. He had even broken up with Qiu Ling as soon as he left the secret realm.
But now he had spent time with Qiu Ling again and even though he didn't want to admit it at first, his heart wavered each time a little more. Looking into his eyes, seeing how he cared so much, listening to how he patiently guided him on the things he didn't understand, feeling his warmth at night and taking in that familiar scent … All of that made his heart palpitate just as much as Tian had done in his past life. Maybe even more so.
He looked at the crouched figure of that man that seemed so proud in front of others but showed him his silly side every day. There was nothing Qiu Ling wouldn't do for him. That, he was sure of. Maybe the same was true for Tian but he didn't actually know that. He didn't know Tian himself. He was just … part of his memory. Part of a memory from another life that he had somehow acquired. Was that really reason enough to leave the man he had promised to stay together with for the rest of his life?
Without noticing it himself, Jing Yi had followed Qiu Ling as if in a trance and only came to a halt when he stood behind him.
What was right? What was wrong? Which man deserved his love? Whose love did he deserve?
He didn't know the answer to even one of these questions and he didn't know whom to ask. Yu Jin had said to stay with Qiu Ling while his heart had said to stay with Tian. Part of it might have been his conscience because he had unwittingly broken an oath he had given. But why should what he had sworn in front of Tian count more than what he had sworn at Qiu Ling's side? One had been in his past life, one in his present. One he hadn't known about and the other had been given in full conscience.
Which one to fulfill?
He quietly knelt down beside Qiu Ling, once again examining that familiar face. This was the man he had fallen in love with, the one he had observed like this countless times already.
His past self … He hadn't even dared to lift his head in front of Tian. Maybe he had been timid, maybe he hadn't dared to ever do something in his life. No, only Tian … The only thing he had dared to do was falling in love with a demon despite being a god. That should be honored, shouldn't it?
But at the same time, he, the him in this current life, had fallen in love with a dragon as a human. Someone mortal and someone immortal. Wasn't that just as daring? Wasn't that just as bold? How could he assign more worth to one of them?
He didn't want to compare. He didn't want to measure. He just wanted to be happy with the one he loved. Whether it was Tian, whether it was Qiu Ling … He just wanted to not regret it, to look forward into a future with someone he loved and who loved him back.
Maybe it would have been easier if he knew what had happened to Tian. Maybe if he knew what had happened back then, he would be able to decide. Maybe if he somehow found out … he could leave one of these men for good.
"Qiu Ling."
"Mn?" Qiu Ling turned around with a smile only to be confronted with a solemn expression. He gulped. "Is something wrong?"
"I just wondered … as a dragon, what do you think a past life counts for? What do you think a promise given to somebody in another life means? Do you think … there is something like fate there? Something that will bring people together again?"