Leng Jin Yu tightened his grab on Jinde. "You … were injured with the soul-devouring dagger?" This couldn't be! Hadn't they said in the Nine Heavens that there was no cure for an injury caused by that weapon? Then Jinde … "You … Don't tell me your soul still …"
"No." Jinde pulled Leng Jin Yu into his arms, holding him gently against his chest and brushing his hair. "It's alright. Don't worry. It's been a long time since then. Actually, my soul has started to recover a bit."
Leng Jin Yu clutched his lover's body, his own limbs still trembling from the shock. Just the thought of losing Jinde after just finding him … "But how can this be?" He lifted his head and gazed into Jinde's eyes, wanting to make sure that he wasn't just reassuring him.
Jinde smiled. "Well, back then I was … desperate. You don't know but when I say dragons can only love one person in their life … then that is only what we know for sure. A dragon tends to reincarnate as a dragon. And a lot of us believe that Tian's curse is even more vicious. Most likely, you won't just love that person in one lifetime. No, if you happen to fall in love with them, then you will recognize their soul and you will still love them in all those other lives to come.
"It's not certain but just imagining how Chun Yin might be reborn and then wander around, feeling like he is missing something but never being able to find it … I couldn't live with that. Even more so … Part of my soul was his. It would have been destroyed by the soul-devouring dagger just the same. So part of his soul and all of those memories we made together, both would have been erased forever."
His eyes reddened and he had to gulp to steady his voice. "I wasn't willing to allow that. So … I came up with a plan."
Leng Jin Yu took one look at that half-smile on Jinde's lips and those curved, golden eyes that were wet with unshed tears and his heart gave a pang. Whatever Jinde had done it had to be something huge. After all, it was obvious how desperate he had been.
"I thought … the soul-devouring dagger and the soul-engraving dagger were forged as a pair. To restrain each other, to complement each other. If there is anything in this world that can save someone from an injury caused by the soul-devouring dagger, then it would be the soul-engraving dagger. So I … used a diplomatic visit to the Nine Heavens and … borrowed it for a bit."
Leng Jin Yu paled. Judging from what the God of War had said and what Jinde had told him and Longjun about the soul-engraving dagger before … "It must have been painful."
Jinde didn't make the effort to try and cover it up. His lover's gaze already said that he had understood. "Yes, it was. Very much so. Which is why I can understand just how desperate Qiu Ling's lover must have been to use it. Back then I … felt like I didn't have any other way out. To save myself, to save Chun Yin's soul I could only use that thing. But the Son of Heaven …" He shook his head and sighed. "I admire his courage. It certainly takes a lot to not only pick that weapon up and try it out but to go through with it until the end. And compared to what I did … Engraving your soul must be even worse."
"What did you do?"
Jinde once again brushed his lover's hair. "It's long in the past. Don't worry too much about it."
"Tell me. You … You also did it for me, didn't you? Don't you think I have a right to know?"
Jinde reached up and rubbed the space between his lover's brows. "Then stop frowning or I'll worry it might stay like that. Although … it might not be too bad. It makes you look slightly older."
Leng Jin Yu chuckled against better knowledge. "Tell me."
"I cut it up. I cut everything off that had signs of being devoured, leaving only that part of Chun Yin's soul and a sliver of my own. That day … I didn't know if I would live. I collapsed in the Nine Heavens and … the gods found out I had been injured. Until then I had actually managed to keep it a secret."
He sighed again. "Our race was devastated. Losing their king and that shortly after they thought they had finally triumphed over the demons … It was a devastating blow to them." He paused and finally lifted the pendant he had let go off sometime while they spoke. "I still remember how Xin Lan looked at me when I woke up again. He was … I don't even know what to call it. He had followed me for so long. I think he felt … for the first time in a long while like he had a home. And now that home collapsed in front of him. And the worst thing was that I couldn't disabuse him."
"Why not? Weren't you saved? In fact, if that is the injury you were talking about and if it was caused by the demons, then why …" Why had Jinde left the dragon realm?
Jinde smiled. "You're right. Maybe … I wouldn't have needed to leave. But I felt that it was the best back then. A dragon will always be the strongest in its other form. But that form is bound to our soul and my soul …" He sighed and his expression grew wistful. "I think I was beautiful. I had golden scales without a single blemish and my eyes … Chun Yin once said they glowed like the sun. It was a popular look in the dragon realm back then."
"You … can't take on that form anymore?"
Jinde shook his head. "No. I can't even use my claws anymore. I'm a disgrace of a dragon. That kind of person … couldn't have continued being king."