Inside the house that the two men had just left, Leng Jin Yu went to get the teapot Jinde had left in the bedroom and poured him a cup of tea. "Here, drink a bit."
Jinde smiled. It had been a long time since he had gotten injured and he had already become used to the bit of pain that still lingered. It was still nice to have somebody care about him like this. Well, Xin Lan had done the same when they met again but that wasn't the same. Having Leng Jin Yu at his side and being cared for by him felt sweet.
He silently sipped the tea, making the lips of his lover quirk up in a smile. "You wanted to tell me about the paintings."
"There isn't much to tell. I've seen that courtyard a few times. Well, not really seen it. It's like a memory that resurfaces but I can't see more than that one glimpse and I know that something is missing. I don't know what it is but I always felt it is a person." He looked into Jinde's eyes, trying to find any hint, any confirmation that this was indeed him.
Of course, he already knew. There was no other explanation for the way he felt. He didn't believe in love at first sight, after all. He never had. So him falling so hard for Jinde after not even knowing him for even a single day … This could only be the result of having loved him for a very, very long time in his past life.
Unfortunately, Jinde's eyes stayed serene. "So you've continued to paint what you saw?"
"Yes. I had always hoped it might enable me to see more. Maybe … draw out the memory of that person so I would be able to find him again. But it didn't work. It was only that courtyard, over and over again. I never remembered anything else."
Jinde's lips curved in a mischievous line and his hand lifted to Leng Jin Yu's chest again, slowly drawing circles on the fabric of the robe. "Never? So that painting from yesterday was merely a figment of your own imagination?"
"That …" Leng Jin Yu reeled. What was he supposed to say now? Jinde hadn't confirmed that he was that person from his memory. Maybe there was a reason why he didn't want him to know, at least for now. So if he said this was a memory, then Jinde might not like it since it would mean they'd have to confront it already. But if he said it wasn't …
He cleared his throat and grabbed that teasing hand. "I thought you liked the painting?"
"Mn. I like it very much. I also admire the painter very much. You know I'd feel honored if you did a painting of me."
"Oh? I …" Leng Jin Yu looked at the ceiling. Ah, why did it feel as if he was digging his own grave here? Talking to Jinde was thrilling but it also made him feel as if there was a noose around his neck that was tightening further and further. When it finally touched his skin and cut into it … What would happen then? Anyway, there was no way to escape any longer.
And why should he refuse something as agreeable as this request? Just imagining to sit down with Jinde, to observe him for a while and to pin his appearance on paper so it could be taken out and admired from time to time … He actually anticipated it.
"Well, if you want me to paint you, then I'd gladly do it."
"Alright." Jinde put the cup down and stood up, startling Leng Jin Yu to his feet.
"Where do you want to go?"
"Mn? Shouldn't I go and change my clothes? Having you paint me is something exceptional. I should dress accordingly."
Leng Jin Yu blinked and turned to look out the window where the sun had gone up not long ago. "Now?"
Jinde's smile grew even more pronounced. "Of course, now. Or could it be that you don't want to do it now?"
"Ah, no, that's … that's not it. I just thought …"
Jinde stepped closer again, his hands once again searching to come into contact with Leng Jin Yu's body. "Could it be you rather want to wait for a more appropriate time?"
Leng Jin Yu's gaze flickered. A more appropriate time? Just what kind of painting was Jinde asking him to do?
Jinde inched closer and his hands slipped down to Leng Jin Yu's waist, tugging at his robe. "How about this evening?" You know just in case you can't hold back afterward.
Leng Jin Yu gulped. If he really said he wanted to paint him in the evening, there was only one way this would end. He took a shaky breath and reminded himself that he definitely couldn't just pounce on Jinde. There were some steps to observe with such things. At least they had to get to know each other better first before anything else could happen. This wasn't their last life anymore.
Suppressing the desire boiling in him, he stepped back and motioned to the door. "If you're looking forward to it so much, then I won't force you to wait that long. Please. Take your time to change. I'll prepare the ink and brush."
Jinde looked at his lover and pursed his lips. Still not giving in? In that case, he had to do a little more with regard to this painting. "Very well, then I'll go and change." He turned around slowly, showcasing his slim frame beneath the robe. In the door, he stopped though. He reached out with one hand and lightly touched the door frame before turning around.
"Right … There's only that chair in the study. I'm afraid it wouldn't make for an interesting painting. How about doing it in the courtyard instead? I like to do it outside."
Leng Jin Yu who had just wanted to sit down and grind the ink to sort his thoughts shook. Why did everything Jinde said sound so ambiguous? Just what did he want to do in that courtyard?!
"Jin Yu?"
That gentle voice made him close his eyes and take a deep breath before he turned around. Well, one breath obviously wasn't enough to calm down with Jinde looking at him like this. "Yes. Sure. I'll … I'll carry everything outside."
"Mn. Thank you so much." Jinde didn't go, though. "If it's not asking too much … How about using a daybed? I think I would look great lying down on it."
Leng Jin Yu's lips twitched and he looked at Jinde with slight reproach. He could say whatever he wanted but he had been planning that all along, hadn't he?
Even though he knew, there was nothing he could do despite nodding. "Of course. If that'll make you happy …"
"Very much so." Jinde rewarded him with a bright smile and finally left the room.
Leng Jin Yu sighed and touched his brow. Ah, just talking to him drained him off a lot of energy. If he really sat down and painted him … Would he really be able to hold back?