The memory diffused as if he had reached the end. Jing Yi surfaced from the ruminant state he had been in and blinked his eyes. He had seen so many things, he didn't even know where to start with processing them.
The worst thing was that these memories didn't seem to follow the course of his previous life. The things he had seen earlier, outside of his inner self seemed to have happened long after the things he had witnessed just now. After all, they had already been lovers in those early memories while this just now had obviously been from a time when nothing was certain yet between them.
The only thing Jing Yi knew with certainty was: Jing He had loved that Tian very, very much. Not just seeing him, even thinking about him had made his heart beat faster. It really was a pity that their circumstances had been so bad. Well, if he was honest, he still didn't really understand what about them had been bad.
Sure, his father had been against it and they had been from different races but was that really so bad? He and Qiu Ling were also from different races but he hadn't really cared when he found out. In fact, the only thing that bothered him about Qiu Ling being a dragon was that Qiu Ling would lose someone important to him again if he didn't manage to become immortal. Everything else could certainly be overcome somehow.
Well, he didn't have to live with being cursed though, so maybe that was actually the main reason.
Speaking of that … He didn't really understand what that curse had been either. Was it having some kind of bad luck? Something where when he was careless he'd die? But how would he know that that was a curse and not things that just happened like that? After all, everyone had bad luck sometimes. Was it different for gods?
In the end, even though he had remembered quite a bit he still couldn't understand anything. There were just too many things he didn't know. He instead started to understand what Yu Jin had meant when he said that only half a Fractured Crystal Leaf wouldn't be useful to him. It was true that one couldn't find out everything from only half the memories. One would really need all memories to understand everything.
Jing Yi couldn't change anything about only having found a damaged Fractured Crystal Leaf though. He had to live with it even though he was actually curious about the life of his previous self by now. The only thing he could do was to continue searching for the other memories he'd be able to acquire.
Thus Jing Yi started to walk down the road. It seemed that with every memory he acquired, the places in his inner self would expand. He could see more of the roads and the buildings around him by now and even though they weren't as familiar as the places where he had lived in this life, he still felt that he knew them.
He just randomly walked around and finally found himself in front of another palace when a memory once again raised its head. Jing Yi withdrew into a ruminant state again and left the apparition of his body inside his inner self to the past Jing He.
The guards at the gates bowed in front of him. "Your Highness."
Jing He nodded, the same gentle smile on his lips that he always showed. "Please inform the god of love, Yue Xia, that I've come to discuss some matters with him."
"As you wish." One of the guards hurried toward the palace while the other led Jing He into a hall. "Is there anything else I might do for Your Highness?"
Jing He shook his head. "Thank you very much for your effort but I'll just wait here for the God of Love. You can go back to your post."
The guard bowed again and stepped outside, not turning his back until he had backed up a few steps.
Not long afterward, an old man appeared. He sported a head full of white hair, an equally white beard, and a wrinkled face but the smile on his lips was so genuine that Jing He instantly felt drawn to him. This God of Love was probably the person that came closest to representing what he imagined a kind grandparent to be like. Unfortunately, he wasn't close to him.
Jing He nodded while the old god bowed.
"Your Highness, what brings you to my palace?"
Jing He lowered his head, his fingers rubbing the hem of his sleeve. His heart was pounding heavily and he didn't really know how to approach the topic that had let him come here.
"There is something I wish to discuss", he finally mentioned in a low voice.
"Have a seat, your Highness." Yue Xia motioned at the chair and Jing He sat down with another nod. "What is this matter you wish to talk about? It seems to be quite important."
"Mn." Jing He looked up but his gaze didn't reach the other god's eyes and instead stopped a little lower. "You might know that my trial is approaching. I …" He exhaled and slightly shook his head. "I know it is what heaven demands from our race. I don't mind descending and passing those trials either. It is just … There is one specific trial I can't bring myself to endure."
Yue Xia smiled knowingly. "The trial of love."
Jing He nodded. "You most likely know already that there is someone I love. That man …" He shook his head again. "Even if it is just a trial in the mortal world, something we as gods don't attach much importance to, I can't bring myself to take the things from him that should naturally be his."
"Your Highness' meaning is …?"
"Yue Xia, I beg of you, whatever the fate's scribe writes down in his scroll of fate, don't tie the red thread for me. Let me stay alone in that mortal life. That, too, would be a trial for me but it would allow me to honor that man. What should be his … would remain his."
Yue Xia nodded. "If that is your Highness' wish, then I will do so gladly. Honoring the feelings you have is exactly what I wish to see from the mortals for whom I tie the red thread."
"You have my sincere thanks." Jing He stood up and actually bowed, shocking the old man into leaping to his feet and grabbing his elbows.
"Your Highness, don't shock this old man like this. There is no need to bow. Tying the red thread is my task. I wouldn't mind doing it for your trial but …" He sighed. "Well, you are young and in love and he isn't part of our race. Who knows how he would take it if you were to fall in love with somebody else in your mortal life? Something like that shouldn't be risked. Especially not considering the positions of the two of you."
Jing He actually smiled an uncharacteristically genuine smile. "He probably wouldn't take it too well."
A bubbly feeling of happiness spread in his chest that he had never before experienced. Ah, he had really made the right decision. Now he only needed to make sure that he was well enough prepared. He couldn't risk that anything might happen that would render his preparations so far futile.
No, he would never allow anyone to take from that man what he was supposed to have.