Jing He came out of his thoughts and looked up at his father with a sigh. He never wanted to see him angry again or hear the worry in his uncle's voice or feel the hot tears of his mother on his skin. Even now, he still felt that he had done the right thing back then when he changed his behavior.
And now he had to do the right thing, too. He had to reject this man that his father wouldn't accept. He had to make sure that he wouldn't come and find him again. But he also had to make sure that he was tactful enough not to endanger the relationship between their races.
It was a pity but … what could he do? This had been going on for far too long. Just a few days should have been enough time for him to figure it out but he had actually let things drag on until almost two years had gone by. It was no wonder that the gods had started talking and that his uncle would joke about it and that his father would react like this. It was his fault. He hadn't reacted the way he should. He had … almost made another mistake.
Jing He accompanied his father in silence for a while before giving him an apologetic smile. "Father, please excuse me. There is something I still need to do."
"Oh?" His father reached over and took his hand, gently rubbing his skin with his thumb. "Don't tire yourself out, my child. You should also rest every now and then."
"I will, father." He still stood up and left, his thoughts churning.
Nobody knew better than him why he was so hesitant. Yes, there was the fear of worsening the relationship between their races but if he was truly honest, then that wasn't the main reason. No, in fact, he had done it for himself. He had tolerated that behavior because it was a nice change in his otherwise dull life. He had … liked seeing someone come over and act crazy for his sake.
He had … behaved utterly irresponsible.
Jing He stopped when he left the field of vision of the guards in front of his father's palace and looked up at the sky. "A cursed child, is it?" He sighed.
He had lived a thousand years by now. That couldn't be considered old for a trueborn god but contrary to the him of that dark memory he was already considered an adult. He couldn't behave willfully anymore. After all, he understood the consequences already. He might not be at the age anymore where the curse would implicate him but that wasn't a reason to take any chances. He couldn't betray the hope of his parents, he couldn't … disappoint the expectations Heaven had for him.
Jing He sighed again and finally made his way to another palace. His heart hurt coming here and thinking of what he was about to do. But there was no other way. He had to do it.
He nodded at the guards and smiled. "Crown prince Jing He came to see the God of War, Qiang Yan."
"Your Highness." The guards bowed, one of them slightly blushing at his sight before he led the way inside.
Jing He maintained his smile while following him. Such a man was probably the one he'd marry one day. Well, probably not a mere guard knowing his father but maybe one of the Heavenly Generals or rather one of their chosen successors. Someone from their own race who could guard him and add to the prestige of his family. Someone Heaven wouldn't mind seeing at his side.
Well, he could probably also take a wife as his father had done but if he was honest, he had no interest in women whatsoever. No, if he was truly honest, then what he saw when he closed his eyes …
He blinked and for a moment a familiar figure appeared in his mind, soothing his chaotic thoughts. Ah, it should be enough to remember him like this, to remember how it had felt being loved this intensely.
He who bore the curse of Heaven couldn't expect more than that. Finding love, being happy with that person … it was asking too much. The sins of his ancestors, they still hadn't been paid off.
Jing He waited in his uncle's study when the guard had shown him inside. He took a look at the sword displayed to the side and smiled. Ah, this really reminded him of the clamor that broke loose most of the time when that person came over. The clanging of weapons, the angry shouts of the guards …
But he still somehow always looked impeccable when he stood in front of him and nothing indicated that there had been a scuffle with the guards. In fact, he always looked as if he had just leisurely walked over. Not rushed at all. There wasn't a hair out of place or even a single wrinkle in his clothes. He was … perfect all around.
Well, he always was.
The door behind him opened and his uncle stepped into the study. "Jing He."
"Uncle." Jing He smiled and hurriedly shelved the thoughts about that man. He couldn't let his uncle notice his feelings.
The God of War smiled back and motioned at the door. "I guess there was something to talk about. How about we go for a stroll?"
"Mn." Jing He followed him outside, not saying anything for a long time.
He wasn't even sure anymore if he wanted to bring it up. Maybe he could drag it on for another year? If he just … played for time, maybe everything would solve itself? Maybe he wouldn't have to reject the man that made his heart beat faster? Because he honestly didn't want to. He'd much rather … bath a little longer in that gentleness. He really wanted to bath in it until he drowned.
"Eh? Isn't that that Fu Min?" His uncle suddenly motioned ahead.
Jing He looked over and saw someone hurriedly running away. If he wasn't wrong, it was one of that man's subordinates. Jing He sighed. This was probably a sign. He shouldn't waver. He should do what he had gone to his uncle for.
"Uncle, say, you know more about their race than I do. How do you think I should reject one of them?"