Xin Lan lowered his head at Jin Ling's outburst. Yes. If he could turn back time, then he would certainly go back and change that part of the past. If he could just save that one person, then even dying in the process was worth it. His life had long been his master's. He certainly would have liked to give it to him. Unfortunately …
"His Majesty wouldn't have wanted me to do so."
Jin Ling was pulled out of his thoughts and gave a snort. "Wouldn't have wanted to? Did you ask? Maybe you should have done that instead of trying to guess what he might have thought."
Xin Lan didn't respond. Naturally, he had done so. He had told him he would go and fight in his stead. He had asked him to send him out to fight in his stead. He had even knelt down and begged him when nothing else had worked. But his master hadn't budged until the end. He had gone to war himself and then … he had only been able to watch as he grew weaker and weaker in the following months.
Xin Lan closed his eyes. He had known from the beginning that this would be the result. Maybe if his master had had something worth living for, he would have decided differently. Maybe if the people he loved had still been at his side, he wouldn't have killed Jian Heng at the expense of his own life. Maybe he could still be alive.
But it was futile thinking like that. He couldn't turn back time. And even if he had managed to keep his master away from the fight back then, what would the result have been? He was sure he could have killed that damnable Jian Heng but just preserving his master's life probably wouldn't have been enough. Maybe it would have been worse.
As a man who had already lost everything, forcing him to live on for another year, another century, another millennium … wasn't that pure torture? He just wished he could have saved his soul so that he could be reincarnated.
Wouldn't it have been wonderful if he could start anew without anything from his tragic past life weighing him down? Maybe he could find his destined person again and hold onto him this time. They could marry and spend their whole life together. Who knew? They might even be able to have a child together.
He was sure his master would have liked that very much. But it was already too late. The only thing he could do was following through with what he had asked him to do. Fulfilling these last three wishes … He was already honored that he was the one who had been asked for that.
Xin Lan shook his head and looked up at Jin Ling again. "Maybe I should have done that. But it's already too late now. As much as you regret, as much as I regret, nothing can be done about that, Your Highness. He is dead and his soul has dissipated. He won't come back ever again, he won't be reincarnated either. We have to accept that."
"I won't."
Xin Lan knitted his brows. "You're still as obstinate as ever. You've seen how your father cut him with the soul-devouring dagger. You know what will happen after that. What more do you want?"
"Proof!" Jin Ling gritted his teeth. Of course, he knew all that! But how could he just accept it because of that? It was Jinde they were talking about here. How could he have died just like that? Heaven couldn't be so ruthless as to erase that beautiful smile. It was impossible.
In a rare show of patience, Xin Lan actually replied. "What proof do you want?"
"I want to see his body!" Jin Ling clenched his fists. This was actually the main reason why he still believed to this day that there was something more to this. If Jinde was really dead, then there would be the empty husk of his body. But when he had sneaked into the dragon realm he hadn't been able to find it. Didn't that mean that there was no body and that Jinde still had to be alive? He was probably just hiding.
Xin Lan sighed again. "I already told you that it was burned. I told you more than once."
Jin Ling shook his head. No, he wouldn't believe it. Why would they do so? That was Jinde! Their beloved king! They wouldn't have burned him.
Xin Lan went over and grabbed Jin Ling's shoulders. "It's true. I did it myself."
"Why would you do that?"
"Because he asked me to. And if you're honest with yourself, then you understand why he did so. The war was already at that stage. The dragons were without their king. Having to see that body that didn't even have the strength to return to his true appearance anymore … It would have been even worse. He couldn't tolerate the thought that he would bring disaster upon his people. You know how he was. He would rather nothing remains of him than that he would become the cause of his race's demise."
"But …"
"I do understand how you feel. I would also … instantly trade every member of the dragon race for his life or even his remains."
Xin Lan narrowed his eyes. Indeed. He didn't care for the dragons at all. None of them had ever been able to gain his recognition. Only Jinde, this person, was able to make him acknowledge him. Naturally, he would do everything to get him back. But what could he do? Body and soul were both long destroyed. Most likely not even Tian would be able to save him now. It truly was too late.
This person he had sworn to protect with his life … had actually died before him.