All that experience thrown to wolves…
Well, let's open these...
Ding!
Hmm… I'll open these gift boxes!
And for that friend invite…
Hmmph! Just you wait! I immediately sent a private message:
-Who the fuck do you think you are? Sending me a friend request just after killing me… Hmph! Don't think about this master will accept your friend request without having you wait!
I opened the status windows, and after barely a tenth of a second of pondering, I chose to open the Starter Packs first. I obtained two Starter Packs. The first noob I fought didn't open his Starter Pack yet when I killed him, and I shouldn't make the same error, starter pack items are bounds, so people can't take it on your corpse, but it isn't the case for the Starter Packs themselves.
╔════════════════════╗
║ Name: ImperialShadow
║ Level: 2
║ HP: 12/12
║ MP: 4/4
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Stats
║ Scheme: 21+10
║ Intelligence: 19+10
║ Comprehension: 10
║ Will: 10+10
║ Luck: 9
║ Wisdom: 1.0001+10
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Inventory
║ Starter Gift Pack x2
║ Random Gift Pack x1
║ Broken Sword x1
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Genome (14 points)
║ Sheep Transformation
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Skills (0 points)
║ Thick Skin (2)
║ Bite (1)
║ Sharp Eye(1,MAX)
╚════════════════════╝
╔════════════════════╗
║ Starter Gift Pack
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Items
║ ???
║ ???
║ ???
╚════════════════════╝
I tapped on the question marks and the items slowly revealed themselves.
╔════════════════════╗
║ Starter Gift Pack
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Items
║ Katana x1
║ Kunais x2
║ Little Smoke Bomb
╚════════════════════╝
Little Smoke Bomb was green. That meant it was an uncommon item. Moreover, as there was no quantity besides its name, it was an item with a cooldown, and wasn't single-use. I tapped on it for details.
While uncommon is considered low quality early in MMOs, one shouldn't underestimate their importance in early game.
╔════════════════════╗
║ Little Smoke Bomb
║ Rarity: Uncommon
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Create smoke in a defined
║ zone around where it is
║ launched.
║ Duration: 8 seconds
║ Cooldown: 2 seconds
╚════════════════════╝
I opened the second loot, but I was dejected to see it was EXACTLY the same content as the first… Seems like there wasn't any RNG in starter packs.
Last bit of hope, I opened the Random Gift Pack with hope in my eyes, hoping for a good RNG:
╔════════════════════╗
║ Random Gift Pack
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Items
║ ???
╚════════════════════╝
Only one item??? Are you fucking kidding me???
And then the revelation:
╔════════════════════╗
║ Random Gift Pack
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Items
║ Random Gift Pack x1
╚════════════════════╝
Ding!
Go! Go! Go! Last try with a good RNG, let's go!
╔════════════════════╗
║ Random Gift Pack
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Items
║ Mjolnir
╚════════════════════╝
Ding!
-A legendary weapon??? I actually got a legendary weapon???
And, what's this log on the right?
Oh, it's called Global Announcements...
-WHAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!
I check in my inventory, but it seems this even locked the weapon in my inventory! I can't seem to drop it!
Well, anyway, maybe that swordsman might be useful to protect me, he doesn't need a hammer too, so he won't hunt me down.
I now felt like I needed to check my friend invites and accept his invite…
I opened the social menu and…
╔════════════════════╗
║ OneStrokeOneSoul (expired)
╚════════════════════╝
It fucking expired!
I quickly sent back an invite, that was accepted by him.
He immediately sent a pm to me:
-... So you like being the dominant side of the relationship...
What is that guy implying?
-No!
-Then what are you acting so sus for?
That voice wasn't in the chat, it came from behind me, was he sneaking on me all that time?
-Nothing! Nothing! That's because of… Don't you think it's quite hot here?
I would never admit that it brought back a memory of the traumatism I had when I discovered how perverted women can be.
-And anyway, why did you follow me?
-Well, young maiden, I know you play an old guy, but your irl beauty can't be hidden from my view!
-I'm a man! A man! Don't fucking try to seduce me!
-Shhh, shh, I know… I know…
I suddenly felt like crying.
After a few hours, I succeeded in explaining to him that I'm actually that one guy who doesn't play a woman or a young protagonist-like character, and disconnect when the first players arrived in the zone.
The map is quite huge so it took them quite long to move to my zone. If there is a global event to kill me, then I just have to not be logged on.
From the details of the event, there is a limit to how much I can be offline during its duration, but at least so long as I do play a few hours, I can win the event and keep Mjolnir.
[...]
-Stop slacking off!
I jumped and looked behind me, he was writing something on a post-it.
-Boss, what are you writing?
-Nothing, nothing, just a death warrant for you to sign, your name is ImperialShadow, right?
-Yes, ImperialShadow, then if that's just tha… WAIT WHAT?
-You're going to be killed! I'm the head of the biggest guild in-game, I'll just issue a quest!
-What? You're the best player of the game, the invincible ElPolloLoco?
I love stupid Spanish usernames. Not that I'm any good at it, though.
-No, that's EllaBailaFlamenco, I don't know where you heard that…
-Oh.
Inside my brain: YOU… MUST... BE... FUCCKKKIINNNGGG KIDDING MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????
[...]
-Hi soul!
-Hi!
After one minute together and one day without seeing each other, we became quite close in the end.
I didn't think it was a good thing, but it just ended up that way.
But today's (first) meetup was unlike any other (well I don't really know): There was an urgent matter to resolve!
I opened my mouth to talk but he was faster.
-I heard you are hunted by the top guild at the same time as the event is ongoing?
-Err, that's about that… How do you know that?
-Well, everyone is talking about it in the global chat.
-Oh.
Suddenly an arrow was shot out and landed just between my thighs and just merely… merely grazed my little brother.
-OH FU-
I cried out trying to find cover but the empty plains let me down.
I kept avoiding the attacks to the best of my abilities, but why the fuck were they aimed at my manhood?
And… Soul? Where are you?
He actually disappeared in this time of need… I knew it! He really was of the submissive side! I bet he's pegged by his girlfriend! No balls!
While my thoughts were drifting at random, I somehow managed to get to a forest with a lot of cover but goddamn couldn't they have just you know put slightly less leaves in their trees?
Before I could get through the especially dense forest, I found myself blocked by vegetation. I was between a rock and a hard place, I had an army behind me nad a way too dense vegetation before me. So I was forced to prepare for the worst. My "stalkers" activated
What did I ever do to you people? I'm an honest procrastinator who just never works at work! I questioned myself as I was looking at the arrows and mentally closed my eyes in acceptance.
But right after, I was in some kind of… bush? While I saw a puppet where I was just before.
A puppet? Was I not abandoned by the author and not humiliated to death? They do care about me! They sent the messiah! Soul… Soul is on my left… Strangely, even though he's badass, even though he's everything you want, his sentence about the dominant side of the relationship forever broke the image I could have had of him. I couldn't imagine him as a messiah or whatever the world wanted him to be anymore...
Watching the puppet before me taking the brunt of the attacks, I said to Soul:
-I am speechless… Why 100 hits? I am a poor level 2 player! Do they want to kill me?!
-Hmm well let's see… No shit they do.
-Do you want my death?
-Do you want me to tell them right now that you are alive and have questions to ask?
Not wanting to die prematurely, I stop asking questions, and start pondering over the meaning of life. And actually mainly how to get out of this situation.
How the fuck am I going to escape this time? Come on, Coreen, you're the smartest person here, and you just need to beat the strongest player and the strongest guild in this game! That's ABSOLUTELY not a suicide mission!
A light bulb pops above my head! I got an idea! I need a Suicide Squad!
An invincible party able to beat everyone up!
Fuck that joke is dated!
Wait… It was likely a party of 5 players couldn't even hurt him, let alone killing him. What the fuck was I supposed to do!? Doubting my high IQ for almost a full second I finally realized the solution.
So if I want to beat him, I need to become the strongest? That doesn't sound generic at all...
-Soul?
-Yes?
-I gave myself a small goal.
-Oh?
-I decided that before illegally buying alcohol, I'll dominate the world.
-Wait, did you have such an objective in the first place?