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How Can You Call Me a Cheater?

🇺🇸ZombieSpy
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Synopsis
Foo, a bright young man that happens to be a computer genius, who excels in life by taking shortcuts when possible. If life was a game, he would definitely pick the easiest mode. Exams in school? Just read all the books once, and make sure you don’t forget the contents. Looking for a job? Make sure everyone around the boss knows just how perfect you are for the job. Having others bragging about your excellence is more trustworthy and gives plausible deniability. Quiz time? Let me just start my special search engine's voice recognition. Competing in soccer? Aw, how unfortunate, the opposing team 'somehow' got their clothes filled with itch-inducing powder, leading to a walkover. Playing a FPS game? Well, lets just have my own mouse driver software get some headshots while I watch a movie. It’s perfectly legit, as it just speeds up the response time so that it clicks before I even get to the computer. Gambling sites and online casinos? Data-mining, number-crunching and image recognition! By utilizing computer knowledge, solving problems is easy! Some might get jealous, but hey! Just be like me, and use your brains for once! However, in the modern era, the gangsters and other shady businesses are moving their turfs towards the internet and gaming circles. What happens when they realize that Foo was a threat to their profits? Well, no suspense here, they killed him. That’s the end of story... if you are to believe the god that greets him after his death. However, can this story get a fresh new start when Foo somehow ends up in a game-like medieval fantasy world? Or will the lack of modern tools, like his beloved computers or other modern conveniences, cut his story short yet again? ------------------------------ Also, thanks to SageDrunkKitty and Remteldanmarkius for proofreading the synopsis! Any errors still there are their fault! The fact that I might not have listened on them does not automatically make it my fault, okay?
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Chapter 1 - The End

Foo felt his soul leave his body. An odd sensation where the world around him seemed to fade away into nothingness. It was not like falling asleep. In fact, he felt more awake than ever before. Almost like he woke up for the first time in his life... well after his life? Like his life was just a long dream.

However, he had no time to think about that peculiar feeling. He was fully occupied by strong emotions.

``Those darn murderers!`` Foo thought inwardly. ``Just because I used a little undocumented access-point in the secret service's servers to get rid of the first group of gangsters that had approached me, the rest just had to team up on me?!`` He would love to shout curses to vent a bit, but to his dismay he couldn't make any sound.

The only reassuring thought he had was on the dead man's switch he left behind. If his death was reported to the news or any computer system he had (made) access to, and he didn't cancel it within a week, everyone that were reported to be the cause of his death and also people on his special `enemy list` would share his grief. Not something as extreme as murder, mind you, as he was a civilized and refined man, as opposed to the other uncivilized murderous brutes. Just that all their assets would be irrevocably donated to charities, their secrets leaked to the public and other inconvenient happenings.

Suddenly his inner maniacal evil-scientist-laugh was interrupted by a booming voice. "Greetings mortal! I am the God of this world. I, unfortunately, have to inform you that you are dead."

Foo was stunned. ``No shit! Who are you? Sherlock?`` However, no matter how he tried, he couldn't speak. He was currently a soul or something, and therefore didn't have a body or vocal cords that he used to. Unfortunately (or fortunately), the self-proclaimed God didn't seem to hear his inner monologue.

"Furthermore, I have to inform you that according to the rules, you'll be recycled. You currently exist only as a soul. A soul is a gathering of self-aware information, karma and possibilities,"

As skeptical as he was on the existence of souls , Foo had to admit that it was the best explanation of his current state of being. And with this information, you could deduce that when you are born, you have endless possibilities and an inherited karma, and when you grow up, the biological state in your brain accumulates into self-aware information.

"And when recycled, the information part is wiped, and a new being is born with the old karma and possibilities. In other words you'll have no memories of your previous life, and this new life will be vaguely affected by your past lives' actions."

Foo couldn't bear to continue this path. "Stop right there! Time out!" He creatively tried to project his thoughts instead, as he lacked any other form of communication. He didn't even have any limbs that he could wave around.

"You... can speak?" The booming voice sounded stunned. "How interesting! Normally those who pass here are in shock or denial. The sudden change is too short to adapt to a new way of communication. And even if they knew how to speak, most would still just listen. There's no point in talking anyway, the rules are the rules. Even I can't change them."

"Exactly what do the rules state then?" Foo inquired, as he for one wouldn't let any passing self-proclaimed God just erase his existence.

Slightly apologizing, the voice answered: "The rules state that when the soul has left the mortal realm of a world, they may no longer return to that realm without getting purged. This is a part of The Rules Eternal."

"Wait a minute! The wording clearly states that there are multiple worlds, and that it would be alright to enter any of them instead."

A sudden silence erupted before the voice yet again answered: "That is... not how it works. You can't just go to another world. Just shut up and prepare to be recycled."

"But there clearly is something fishy here! Why would you even initiate a conversation if you just want to wipe my memories? The only explanation would be that the rules in some way states that the passing souls must be informed and have the opportunity to make another choice, if they were able to."

The voice suddenly sounded awkward: "That... that..." Realizing that he had been exposed, he admitted: "Alright then, you are right. Making new souls takes quite some effort, so it's of the utmost importance to recycle them. It's a complete waste for another world to benefit from it, so Gods usually just gives the briefest information possible and then recycles them before they can show disagreement. Of course, it was supposedly not always like that, but it's what it has come to. You have to be economical and eco-friendly, you know?"

Foo shudders at how lazy the God seems. ``It's no wonder that there are no signs of God in the world, as he's too lazy to even do his own job properly, so how could he even bother to care about the people?``

"Anyway, you're completely screwing up my plans. Now I'll lose a soul! *Sigh*, well, the rules are the rules. Even thought you have cheated me, I will be magnanimous and send you on your way to another world!"

"Hey! How can you call me a cheater? You're the one that exploits the system in order to work less!" Foo retorts.

"*cough* *cough* Lets not focus on the trivialities, you wanted to go and live in another world, right? Then off you go!"

Suddenly, light envelops Foo as his surroundings distorts.

"Hey! We aren't done yet! I don't even dare to think about what kind of world someone as lazy as you would send me to!! Did you even check it, or are you just picking one randomly?!"

The booming voice, now sounding more and more distant, resounds for a final time: "Of course I chose it carefully. I also made sure to prepare you with some blessings. Judging from your personality you'll definitely wreck havoc in that world. There's no way that world should even think of benefiting from me! Even though it took a great deal of power to make the blessings, it's totally worth it!"

A maniacal evil laughter that made Foo shudder could be heard, slowly fading away.