Hana took half a day to recuperate. It consisted of lying flat on the table-like elevated stones in front of her and tried to catch some sleep. Little Pi-chan helped a lot just by being it cute self, lying contented within Hana's embrace. The aunty just treated it like a warm bolster. After a while, loud sounds of snoring reverberated within the air pocket.
After around five hours of uninterrupted sleep, she immediately sat down in meditation and tried to connect with Ara. Although she was quite angry with Ara's forceful act, she knew that Ara was concerned with her wellbeing. So, as usual, the nice aunty sighed and just let it go. Additionally, looking at that pitiful little pink fish, Hana knew she already felt guilty and hopefully will rectify her future conduct. At least, just be more gentle when helping others, and especially stop forcing others to swallow multiple bottle cap-sized stinky mudballs without consent. If one didn't die from the ailment afflicted, one would definitely die from suffocation resulting from choking.
This time, Hana approached the aquamarine blue star with cautiousness. She had a heart-to-heart talk with Ara to understand her past, inner desire, future aspirations, everything. It was more like a lengthy sharing session between a patient and a therapist. She sighed again as she recalled what she heard. Even fishes had teenage issues, eh.
Hana took a deep breath to calm herself. Truthfully, she was still quite nervous.
This time she was ready.
She stepped into the mesmerizing shining star, and her vision blurred. Suddenly she appeared in an unknown darkened underwater cave. It was very dark, and there was only a single source of light further ahead. She couldn't understand why she could hear sobbing sounds even when it was very clear that she was underwater.
Hana sauntered to the light source and could finally make out the figure of a tiny fish as big as a baby's palm. It was using its pectoral fins to rub its eyes. In front of it was roughly cut spirit crystals in an empty turtle shell. Hana could immediately relate this event to Ara's previous sharing session.
[I see. This must be Ara's memory.]
The little palm-sized fish used its pectoral fins like a pair of fully-functioning hands. It took some sort of stone-like tool as large as itself and hit a crystal repeatedly without relenting.
Hana waited silently by the side as an observer. She didn't know what to do but just to be a spectator awaiting the next course of event. The knocking sounds resounded for a long, long time, Hana couldn't fathom how long she had waited for the crying little fish to compound her very first herbal medicine.
Memories after memories resurfaced, all were bitter ones.
Mean friends talking behind her back.
Servants looking down on her.
Poisoning these said 'friends', while being misunderstood as being vengeful.
Her own mentor sighing while shaking its head with helplessness.
The worst of all was how the little fish's own great grandpa berated her, degrading her with harsh words and forcing her to do the things she disliked for his own vanity.
From the size of a baby's palm, the little fish grew larger a bit at a time, and more graceful as the memories flashed by. In every single one, the sweet little Young Miss grew up surrounded with her own tears and bitterness. But she persisted on. The belief that she could succeed and proved the others wrong propelled her to keep on persisting even without having a real mentor.
Day and night, day and night, she didn't stop persisting, while drowning in sorrow. The sobbing sounds continued.
Hana could only sigh deeply as she saw Ara's life flitted by in front of her eyes. This was a classic example of poor upbringing where a genius was mishandled by her own community. It's like everyone was forcing this highly talented child to aspire to be a doctor, a lawyer, or an engineer, the mainstream sought after careers, while neglecting the child's extreme talent and passion in, say, painting, or carving. The child will grow up to be bitter and full of resentment, feeling that he or she wasn't good enough in everyone's eyes, or 'clever' enough to fulfill those expectations, if the child wasn't strong enough mentally. Thank goodness, her little Ara didn't succumb to depression!
Hana felt like she needed to give Ara a hug. A hug that the little fish desperately needed, just to let her know that she's there for her.
She approached the little sobbing fish and tried to hug her out of reflex.
...
Ara couldn't control herself. All the bitterness she felt and the unsavory memories buried deep in her heart was uncontrollably spilling out like a gush of water from a broken pipe. After watching her own embarrassing memories in a third-person view, slowly, she became too immersive within.
Ara flapped her pectoral fins in panic only to realize that those fins were smaller than they were supposed to be. She looked at herself from the reflection of a pearl nearby and was dumbfounded to see her tiny self. It was her when she was just a wee babe. The one that embarrassingly cried a lot each night. Something interrupted her thoughts, she wasn't sure what, and she suddenly zoned out. After a while, she had already immersed herself and forgotten that she was swimming in her own memories. She became the embodiment of the memories itself. She began shedding real tears and experienced her old wounds again for the second time.
Cher and Ria, her bestfriends, talked nasty stuff about her in front of Brother Min, behind her back. It broke her heart. She felt betrayed since Brother Min was a senior that she liked. Since that day, Brother Min looked at her with a condescending gaze, on every single occasion, although he hid it well.
Servants purposely ignoring her and didn't help her out even when she requested nicely. She only got hushed snide comments from them.
She tried to show her worth and used all of her power to convince her skeptical 'friends' to try her newest pellet. Cher, Ria and a large number of promising young clansmen couldn't cultivate for nearly a year after that, setting them back in their progress. Clansmen started to avoid her like the plague. A rumor circulated saying that she will poison everyone who crossed her, since she was that vengeful.
Her beloved mentor sighing while shaking its head with helplessness. "Young Miss Aranyella, please stop hurting others. You need to channel your effort and energy in cultivation rather than on other random things. If you persisted, I won't be your mentor anymore." It left without letting her explain.
"You worthless lass! Stop smearing my face! Where is your dignity as the First Young Miss of this Clan?! The whole clan is laughing at you and me! Are you happy now?! Do you think you can become a healer just because you want to?! Stop wasting your time and focus cultivating! And maybe you'll finally show your worth with all the Spirit Crystals you've wasted!"
By this time, Ara had totally forgotten about herself as she relived the worst memories one by one. Being hurt by everyone around her was still alright. But even her own closest kin didn't support her.
She felt so alone.
She felt unwanted, unneeded.
Until she heard a soft ethereal faint whisper.
[Everything is going to be alright. Mistress is here with you.]
Ara was startled by the familiar-sounding voice, as if awakened from a stupor. She looked around her in confusion but couldn't see anything within the darkened underwater cave. However, the darkened waters around her slowly dissolved revealing a pastel multicolored ball of light in front of her. It was shining and pulsating beautifully. She could feel the Mistress' presence from within.
Ara extended her two dorsal fins longingly while shedding tears and let the ball of light entered her embrace. The ball of light did not just stop there. It entered directly into Ara's body. Instantly, Ara's body emitted a bright aquamarine-colored light, oblivious to her naked eye. She felt a gush of warmth washing through her. It was filled with acceptance and concern.
She felt relieved. Finally, someone truly accepted her as who she was.
[I see. It is alright to want to be who I am. I am no different from the rest. Each of us has our own goals in life. Even if my clansmen forsake me, I still have my Mistress and my soul-brethren who will never leave me behind.]
The naïve little fish finally could come to terms with her mental demon. She was finally free.
...
Hana wasn't sure what she did. She genuinely felt sorry for the little gullible fish and wished to give her the warmth that she desperately needed from her family. She felt that Ara's whole situation was just a little miscommunication and misunderstanding mixed together over the years. A little nudge in the right direction could perfectly remedy the Young Miss' plight. She decided that once she meet with the little girl's great grandpa, she will have a serious discussion about this. Regardless of Ara's preferences and her estranged relationships with her peers, it was very important to get moral support from her own family members. Since she was already tied by fate with Ara, she will go all the way to mediate the relationship between the two.
Suddenly, Ara's memories dissipated, as it was replaced by its true form, the aquamarine blue star. Hana was within the blue star. She didn't feel anymore resistance or animosity from the star to repel her out this time. However, she could see a slightly round shaped aquamarine crystal in the center of the blue star which served as a nucleus. It definitely wasn't there before. In fact, either on Kuro or Shiro's star, she hadn't seen any. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do now but to continue chanting and wait.
The nucleus became the focal point of concentration for her. As she chanted diligently under her breath, she could see runes appearing in thin air. They scattered everywhere around her at first and finally they arranged themselves into forming something like a thin thread, bundling over the nucleus within the aquamarine star. The end of the thread finally pierced the nucleus.
Hana could feel a momentary connection was established.
[Ara, my dear? Can you finally hear me? Did you feel the connection?]
A white noise resounded. After a while, Hana heard Ara's child-like voice.
[Yes, Mistress. However, it felt different.]
[It does. This is a deeper level of soul-link. Currently, I'm trying to link my senses to yours. Let's see which sense we can sync first. Open up all your senses and tried to feel the world around you. Once you feel something clicked, let me know. In the meantime, use this opportunity to cultivate your own cultivation method. It will be beneficial for you.]
[As you ordered, Mistress.]
...
Time slowly moved forward as Hana whispered the soul cultivation chant for the n-th time. Hana observed the changes happening in her merged state with the aquamarine blue star representing the lovely little pink tilapia fish.
In front of her, six threads linked up to the aquamarine crystal nucleus. The threads were intangible, dissipating after a while, but reformed again after being supplied with new runes, and the process kept on repeating non-stop. This must be the process of establishing a permanent link as explained by Kuro before, so she wasn't that clueless and let nature ran its course. Two more days was needed to make one of the dissipating rune threads became solid. Hana wasn't sure which senses did it signifies.
On the third day, Hana finally opened her eyes.
…